Between us
by Falling Tears of Death
Summary: Things between Shino and Kiba are always....hard. Edging on to something they are never ready for whether it be romantically or just as friends. Warnings: sometimes yaoi, sometimes not
1. Eyes

_--We were hoping for some romance  
All we found was more despair  
We must talk about our problems  
We are in a state of flux—Bloc Party, Flux_

A/N: Shino and Kiba need more love. Don't own anything. Not really Yaoi just awkward teenage moments. Oh how we all love them.

Kiba is lying beside Shino (well more like on Shino because Kiba never has had any respect for personal space) not so quietly and not still because he can't stop fidgeting. Its awkward, and Shino is sure "normal" friends don't do this but right now with his kikaichu thrumming in a comforting way under every spot Kiba's tan body overlaps his own…Shino can't bring himself to care. Shino _does _care, however, about the awkward 'silence' that he can feel more than hear because despite Kiba's failing attempts at conversation (small talk really) the room feels hollow. Finally Shino sits up…kinda forcing Kiba off of him and to the very edge of the bed and kinda relived for the new and sudden distance that is indicative of _them_…finally there's enough room to breathe, enough room to realize its _his_ heart that's beating at 15.3 beats per second and Kiba's breath that is coming out in unhealthy almost hyperventilating pants. Shino's kikaichu are buzzing and Kiba is fidgeting, his eyes flitting everywhere but at Shino…like a nervous dog. "Kiba" Shino's voice is raw in the tense moment and Kiba can feel it rip through him and can smell the apprehension that he can't see by just looking at Shino.

But Kiba can't focus on any of that as the power of his name being uttered in that way from Shino's lips shocks him so deeply that he can't look anywhere but _at _Shino. "Kiba" again, more firmly and then in a swift moment Shino removes his glasses and lets his sluggish, bug like eyes that are surround by skin just slightly paler than the rest of his milky body stare into Kiba's bewildered ones. Shino realizes he's never really _seen_ Kiba before and Kiba is trying to figure it out….take it all in…he's searching for something….anything….trying to travel deeper and deeper but maybe just running in place. " OK?" shino chuckles awkwardly and puts his glasses back on with a haste, " No more mystery friend right." He's attempting humor and _failing_. Kiba is siting still…and that alone makes Shino's stomach drop. "Ahh" Kiba shrugs thinking trying to figure out why…how…its stupid-- but now Kiba feels he knows less about Shino then he did 10 minutes ago.

_--Smoking out mosquitoes--  
soon the fireflies  
are gone too—issa_

A/N: READ AND REVIEW!!!


	2. Denial

A/N: Beware...Angry Kiba has a potty mouth. Read and review or I'll sic him on you

_--I know I had something to say_

_It's lost meaning_

_And Faded Away—The Automatic--_

"It's not the same" Kiba sounds frustrated and exasperated and just teetering on the edge of violence. "I don't want to offer help with _Naruto_, I don't want to go on lame double dates, I don't want to be her _friend_!" Shino sits quietly, at times like this Kiba need to vent because this is Kiba real and raw and Shino is imprinting this…honesty into his memory. "She wants me to be her brother Shino…I want to be her boyfriend" at this admittance Kiba's voice is lower, quieter and Shino feels uneasy…a bug buzzes and Shino knows something is changing. Kiba is wearing a feral grin on his tan yet not exactly golden face, his teeth are white in a weird way…as if they have been dipped in paint. "…her underneath me, saying my name" Shino shakes his head—trying to refocus. "Don't you ever just want love? Want to be appreciated by someone?" On the inside Shino understand on the outside he remains carefully nonchalant…something _is_ changing even if it's only under the surface. "I hate it: watching him chase Sakura and she's chasing him but he doesn't give a _shit_ because Sakura is sooo frickin important but she won't stop _wasting_ her god damn _fucking_ time and I just feel like.." the crescendo that Kiba's voice had built up peaks and abruptly crashes, his voice softer now and more hollow…wavering as if he's ready to _cry_"…a damn stray begging for scraps and trying to follow her home."

The bug has stopped buzzing…the change, Shino thinks nervously, is already over. "My whole life I've been living in a pound and I just want someone to keep me…take me home." There is a heavy silence as Kiba seems shocked at his words, shocked at how close he's leaning into Shino. Shino nods softly "Kiba I…" part of him wants to say I want you, I appreciate you, I'll take you home and keep you, I love you (though how he's not sure), but instead "…understand how you feel." Kiba is stunned, maybe more stunned than Shino is at himself for revealing _that_ much and at Kiba for _understandin_g that it _meant _that much. Kiba clears his throat and scratches his head sheepishly. "Yea? Who would have thought?" He wraps his arm around Shino's tense shoulders and winks boyishly, in the distance Akamaru howls. They begin walking and Kiba is laughing just a little to hard, smiling just a little to broad and Shino is a little too distant and they are walking just a little closer than needed but not close enough to do damage. Something is changing (changed) and its scary…Shino isn't sure they can handle it (whatever it is) and he's sure this whole denial thing (the easy thing) is just waiting for the right moment to blow up in their faces.

_--I said I always want you near_

_You said things change my dear—Tori Amos--_


	3. Obedience

A/N: No yaoi. Just friendship if you can call it that. Kiba is again angry and again has a potty mouth. Towards the end there is a sort of symbolism...think about it. Read and review or beware of grumpy Shino.

_--When you shouted at me  
I saw my father in the second grade  
Concerned and kind  
Yet unable to reach me—Bloc Party_

Kiba is trying desperately to take in slow ,deep, _calming_ breaths.

Out with the bad, in with the good, out with the bad in with the good….think of your favorite color now breathe it in…yes just like that.

He's trying to remember the lessons from his "instinctual control class" aka anger management aka _obedience_ class because everyone in this damn village thinks he's more of a dog than fuc…._flipping_ Akamaru. He can almost hear his instructors annoyingly calm voice "see doesn't that feel good?" Hell fuc…._fricking_ no it doesn't feel good. Waiting for Shino to come chew his as…_behind_ out like it's never been chewed before does not feel good.

Kiba can feel the anger rolling off of Shino is stiflingly waves before he even sees Shino. _Shit_. And yes shit screw that proper language shit. "Kiba" Shino's voice sounds like a father…a father he isn't too fond of but now definitely isn't the time to start thinking of that…as if he needs to feel anymore worthless than he's about to. "Kiba this is becoming intolerable. How many more times must you succeed in jeopardizing a mission before you get control of yourself." Kiba knows Shino is pissed because Shino is talking and he's straining to keep his voice infliction in check because even Shino knows yelling at Kiba seriously isn't a smart thing to do. "Wait, I correct myself…This is intolerable. You _blew_ a mission Kiba. Blew it. Are you satisfied with yourself. You endangered _not only _the life of the young man you _should_ have been protecting but also the life of your teammates." Kiba is trying to find some place past Shino to stare so that Shino can't tell he's not looking at him. Like that tree…yes that tree seems like a very good place to stare. " How would you have felt if I or better yet Hinata were hurt due to _your_ actions. All this for what Kiba. _**What!?**_ Because some merchant offended your misguided sense of honor? So you blow our cover. Alert the enemy we are in the area."

Kiba hates how Shino is _trivializing_ all this, his usually tan fists are balled up, his knuckles pale as his bones come forth. The veins and muscles on his arms are becoming more prominent and it's all he can do to not shake with anger….or worse growl. "You're a leaf ninja Kiba. A jonin at that. Act like it dammit." Kiba looks shocked…Shino is upset…Kiba would even go as far to say that Shino is _pissed_. "Until you prove yourself fit your suspended from team 8. Now you'll have more time to go to your _obedience classes_ see if you can learn to _sit_ on command." Finally, Kiba does growl. Shino is getting personal and friend or no friend…Kiba doesn't take shit from fucking _**anyone**_. "For goodness sake Kiba. What do you expect us to do with you? How can we trust you now? Should we tie you to a pole everywhere we go? Should I use a kikaichu and monitor you at all times. _Akamaru _has more self restraint than you!"

The growl in Kiba's throat is getting louder and he is shaking from the effort…in and out in and out…think of your favorite color…red like the damn blood Shino's about to bleed if he doesn't shut the fu…fri…_fuck_ up. "Do you want to hit me too. Hit me Kiba…see how far it gets you. You need to learn some damn control _**now**_! Calm down dammit Kiba. I'm disgustingly _ashamed_ with you."

And just like that Kiba is unraveled. He's shaking and his teeth are bitting through his lips hard enough to draw blood and suddenly he's five years old again looking into his father's cold disregarding eyes. Frickin disappointment. He hangs his head low, like a dog that's been scolded for chewing on the furniture. He's kicking his feet and watching as the dirt puffs up and then falls back to the floor. He gets that feeling. " What should I tell Tsunade. Better yet what are _you_ planning on telling her." Shino's voice calms as he mentions consequences. Maybe consequences, order everything that Kiba disregarded were what Shino clung to.

Though honestly Kiba couldn't care two shits and a piss about Tsunade and her _consequences_. Fu…Forget that. Just forget everything. "Kiba" Shino's voice is a cooing tone but still stern, holding the…your still in trouble but the worst has passed voice his dad used to use _after_ he'd beaten him purple. Kiba shrugs, obviously defeated. Disturbingly defeated. His pride…his Inzunka treasure wounded in ways he's never thought of before.

A moment of silence passes and Shino looks, calculating the situation. His pale, scarred hands tap against the rough surface of his pants in a 'come pat' and he moves forward... toward the Hokage's Tower. Kiba follows…stepping just behind, his head hung down. " I guess, I'll say whatever you think I should say" his voice is a murmur, vacant of its usual cheer, strength, and sexuality. Shino nods approvingly and Kiba is oddly soothed by this. He walks just a little faster and begins to walk only 2 cms behind Shino, slightly to the left as if walking beside him but still letting him lead.

It occurs to Kiba that he is kind of the failure his dad always said he'd be…this bothers him. It also occurs to Kiba that when he's around Shino he begins to feel increasingly less human—this bothers him more.

_--__I just kinda died for you __  
__You just kinda stared at me—Counting Crows_


	4. Truth

A/N: No real warnings. Read and Review!

_--The world is fading  
I'm here with you  
If you start shaking  
I'll get you through it—Cobra Starship_

The whirring of the machines is deafening. He lays quietly, observing the cold, dull steel and white room barren of anything. Everything in this room feels like looking through molasses. As if time has slowed down to an inching crawl leaving everything void of energy. The fan above him pushes hot air around, chilling the room. He feels as if he's dying or at least ready to shed a tattered skin. Inside his body the kikaichu feel like icicles prickling and rolling around within liquid mercury, sloshing inside his body. His lips are chapped, bleeding, and letting a view kikaichu slip out and then healing, just to bleed again. His skin is dry and clammy and there is a light smell of sickness and sweat hanging around him (or so Kiba thinks).

Shino keeps his eyes closed, the room is too bright, to thick with dust, and his glasses are broken into 5 jagged pieces. Despite his sick condition he can still feel the body that is looming over him and in panic he attempts to open his eyes. When they open he is met with startling aqua that is dashed with pink. "Shino, Shino Shinooo" he's not sure why they voice is calling out to him or holding him down and then there is this _scream_ ringing in the room but he's not sure where it's coming from. "Shino, Shinooo, Shin Shin, no, no, no" the voice is warped, _demented_…fading in and out as the prick of a needle is felt in his arm before he looses all clarity, consumed by a grey fog.

When Shino awakes he feels funny, _weird_. The room is still bright but now he can hear the voice of someone. "…so she couldn't come but I'm here yeah. Couldn't not visit my best buddy. Heh." Shino smirks…his lips crack open and his throat is suddenly dry. "Ahh, waa, ahh" Kiba turns and wrinkles his nose "Water? Hmm, um, hold on" he shuffles away quickly and then comes back with a small plastic cup. Carefully, with more care than Shino _ever_ though Kiba could manage, he pours the water down Shino's throat. Never in his life has Shino felt so grateful.

Kiba is stroking his hair softly, it's a bold action but there is something _other_ than his kikaichu buzzing, telling him it doesn't matter. "MMM, Shino, ok now Shino" Kiba's voice is deep and wonderful and Shino leans closer. "Do you want a secret Kiba?" his voice is rough even in his own ears. Kiba looks confused, thinking about the jumbled question. He nods carefully…worried. "You surrre?' Shino's words slur. Kiba thinks again. He's _not_ sure, not sure at all. Secrets open doors, some doors are better left closed. Like closets that are over full…you open that door and its not like you can just _shove _everything back in…you might get _most_ of the stuff but some of it will never go back into the closet again. He nods again. "Sometimes, sometimes me cry at night." Kiba looks bewildered. He knows it's the drugs speaking but still he can't shake the way it sounds like utter _truth_. Shino is beginning to drift back into the grey fog his breath coming out in irregular puffs—like dust coming from his breaking body. Kiba looks as a kikaichu breaks from the spot that the needle was pressed into Shino. "Hurtsss sometime" Shino babbles lowly, his tongue sounding heavy and thick with _something_. Kiba stays…unsure. He waits until Shino finally falls asleep and wonders what to do now. 'Shino won't remember this' the voice in his head says. Kiba agrees.

But Kiba can't fool himself…even if Shino _never_ remembers any of this...he will. Kiba will always remember and that's enough to make Kiba never look at Shino in the same way again.

_--Just promise me  
You'll never make me believe you  
It's true  
No one hears you in this room—Cobra Starship_


	5. Intruding

A/N: There is a sliver of yaoi. Nothing over-bearing though I promise. Beware...It's slightly odd filled with deeper meaning. Blame Equus and the fact that I believe sometimes we need surrealism, the extreme to find truth. Read and Review!

_--What's that coming over the hill  
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?—The Automatic_

Kiba holds his breath as he is knee deep in muddy dirt and wet bushes; he is watching Shino—watching Shino in darkness.

"I was born in the void with no light." There is a slight rhythmic humming surrounding him "underneath a heel of glass I laid" the humming rises, but the pace slows. In Shino's hand something glitters, maybe a knife, maybe a syringe, maybe a scroll, or maybe just Kiba's imagination. "There I humbly offered myself" the darkness around Shino seems to be moving, closing in. Shino intakes a breath and kneels on the floor. "Soon there was unity, a cocoon."

Kiba is riveted; the darkness seems to be clinging to Shino's body, moving subtly around him. "Here where light is absent, and weakness of flesh and emotion, inside and out, is devoured." The darkness seems excited; Kiba can taste it in the air. "Here, again I Shino Aburame re-affirm my loyalty." There is a hum, a pleased hum. "I am reborn into darkness, breaking from cocoon." The humming lowers, speeds up…the darkness seems to devour Shino. "Here I prepare myself to be head of the hive." Shino removes his glasses and places them somewhere Kiba can't see.

The knot in Kiba's stomach makes him know he shouldn't _be_ here. This is sacred. He knows what sacred means. Inuzuka have sacred rituals, bathed in animal blood and bites between canine and man. But yet Kiba _can't_ turn away. "Here I stand, ready to die underneath the heel." Kiba can not see Shino and if his hearing wasn't as good he wouldn't be able to hear over the frenzied humming. And then all humming stops and turns into a rowdy buzzing. Kiba can feel the hunger, desire, lust pacing through the air.

Then Shino screams and Kiba bolts away in fear and alarm.

He runs and runs as if the darkness is chasing him. Runs with mud pulling him down. Runs until he's reaches the brink of himself and collapses. Sweat and guilt cling to him. There is a beetle on the floor staring at him and Kiba turns away—vomiting uncontrollably. He feels sick, sicker than he's ever felt before…even when he was 5 and had a tape worm in his stomach. He feels sick, as the feeling of hunger….pure and primitive, destructful hunger….calling to him, wanting _him_…._knowing_….wrecks throughout his body.

"Kiba, Kiba, come closer Kiba, _closer _Kiba, come closer."

_--Come along now little darlin'  
we'll see how brave you are—Tori Amos_


	6. Fading

A/N: So this is probably the longest one I've written. No hardcore yaoi and actually you'd have to squint for it. For those yaoi fans out here that will come later but right now…that's not how I'm telling their story. Read and Review or I'll make Chouji eat you

_But if you keep real close  
yeah, you stay real close  
I will reach you.—A Fine Frenzy_

Shino is sure that Kiba has some kind of abandonment issue. It's the only reason he can come up with to describe Kiba's unnecessary and almost desperate need to constantly touch those who are next to him.

Like now. As they walk down the dirt streets, looking for Shikamaru, Kiba holds tightly onto Shino's elbow. Logically speaking, its not necessary. The chance of an enemy attack is very slim, and even so Shino is more than capable of taking care of himself. The chance of one of them getting lost or separated is even slimmer and therefore in Shino's reasoning there is no need for the steel like grip Kiba has.

Shino _would_ tell Kiba this but over the years that they have been friends he has observed that if Kiba does not have some sort of contact with those around him…he becomes anxious and irritable.

So instead, he continues to allow Kiba's complete disregard for _his_ personal space. Shino is not blind. He knows that while Kiba is very touchy feely, he generally doesn't cling to one person longer than a few minutes. And yes there might be a couple of touches here and there if Kiba and said person engage in prolonged association but other than that…Kiba is content with walking closely by others.

Unless that person is _Shino._ When Kiba is with Shino it's as if there is some magnetic connection that forces Kiba to _constantly _touch Shino. This confuses Shino. Mainly because he is sure that he has yet to give Kiba a reason to believe that he will suddenly disappear. Shino is not like Kiba, he has not gotten hurt so badly that he needed severe medical attention, Shino is not like Naruto, he has never made unreasonable promises and knows when to give up, Shino is not like Sasuke, he has no vengeance or power hungry desires that would lead to his departure, and Shino is not like Neji, there is no secret mark that his clan could readily activate to cause his death.

With that said, Shino is bewildered by Kiba's growing fervent attachment to him. Shino has noticed that Kiba's touches have increased in intimacy; he has also noticed that Kiba seems _oblivious _to this change.

Like now as Kiba moves his hand from Shino's elbow to his shoulder, casually rubbing his fingers against the back of Shino's neck, underneath his jacket. Off handly Shino notes that his jacket is failing as a barrier but the small half circles that Kiba is making, soothes tension he never knew was there and Shino thinks that for now the barrier is not needed.

He is now beginning to think this search for Shikamaru is pointless and at this moment he can't even remember why they were looking for him to start with. However, the logical part of Shino (that is beginning to fade) says this could be attributed to Kiba's neck massage that is slowly turning him into jelly. Something like a moan begins to work its way out of Shino's throat and Shino begins to panic as he realizes how deeply his barrier has been penetrated.

Kiba looks curiously at Shino, more than likely detecting the change in his smell. "Shino?" They both pause. Kiba's hand slowly makes its way out of Shino's jacket and caresses every spot it can touch before resting again on Shino's elbow. He squeezes, trying to be…reassuring? Although not sure what he's reassuring Shino of. Shino quickly shakes his head and removes his elbow from Kiba's grasp to readjust his collar and then glasses. "I need to go to the restroom." And with that Shino turns sharply and heads to the first shop he sees. Kiba stares, confused at the change and can't help the slightly paranoid way he's looking around at the people walking by.

One minute passes. Two minutes pass. And then three. Kiba feels his stomach coil and begins to pace around, almost sure that he looks _odd _to people passing by. He sticks his nose up and begins to sniff the air for Shino. "Kiba" Kiba turns to the slow drawl of his name, obviously aggravated about being interrupted. "Damn it Shikamaru. Can't you tell I'm busy." Shikamaru looks bored and carelessly puts his hand into the pocket of his pants. Chouji stands beside him with a strange look on his face, "But everyone said you've been looking for Shikamaru." Kiba controls the urge to roll his eyes and instead scoffs. "Yea well now I'm not OK." Shikamaru stares hard, and Kiba knows that he's trying to figure him out as if he was a puzzle or another one of his dumb board games. "Where's Shino?" Kiba sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Taking a shit I guess." He tries to say it nonchalantly but knows it comes out gritted, knows the desperation can be heard in his voice.

Shikamaru walks closer and stands beside Kiba. He glances with half lidded eyes to the right where Kiba is standing. "Want me to wait with you?" Kiba smiles and then gives a sheepish smile to Chouji. He claps his hand roughly against Shikamaru's back and gives him a sort of awkward half hug. Shikamaru just stands indifferently (not unlike Shino, Kiba notes) and lets Kiba rest his head on his shoulders. Kiba sniffs again, his senses are filled with Shikamaru and BBQ chips. Kiba sniffs and sniffs and for a second Chouji thinks he could be _crying_.

But then Shino walks up and Kiba _instantly_ throws himself into Shino's (surprisingly) expecting arms. Shino cocks his head to the side as Kiba jumps up and down in happiness and relief. Chouji chuckles "_Geez,_ you'd think Shino left on a 5 month mission Kiba. Calm down." Shino nods in agreement.

Years of being friends with Kiba has not changed made him any less of a mystery to Shino. It makes little to no sense to him that Kiba is so excited. He went to the bathroom, what _else_ did Kiba think would happen? His return should have been expected.

Kiba buries his head into Shino jacket and Shino can _feel_ Kiba inhale him. Usually Shino doesn't care about Kiba's closeness but with Shikamaru _staring_ Shino feels….exposed. "Must you _inhale _me Kiba?" And then Kiba pulls back startled. He gives Shino a look on his face that looks distinctively sad and then pulls away entirely with reluctance. Kiba bounds somberly back over to Shikamaru and Chouji while casting glances to-wards Shino.

Shino is not dumb. That does not mean, however, that he is clever enough to figure Kiba out. At times like these he wishes he were _Shikamaru_. He wonders what Shikamaru sees when he looks at Kiba. Rationally thinking, Kiba probably reacted that way to Shino's absence because he felt he wouldn't come back. Shino nods to himself…although that thought was not _logical_ on Kiba's part it went along well with Shino's theory of abandonment issues that he would soon need to bring up with Kiba. Also, rationally thinking, the look of sadness could have been shame and could have been due to the fact that it was the first time Shino has ever mentioned or rebuked Kiba's touching habits.

When Kiba looks back at Shino hecan tell by the slight arch of his eyebrow that he's thinking and pondering, pulling him apart like a machine. But Kiba is _not _a machine, and so all of Shino's logic doesn't apply to him. Kiba is sure Shino has yet to understand that. Even with that said as the scent of Shikamaru and BBQ floods his nose, all Kiba really wants to do is go back to _Shino_ and hold him again. Because Shino is fading the same way his scent is fading and even though Shino doesn't _know_ it yet—someday when he leaves it will be the last time Kiba will ever see him again.

_--I know I can't tie you to a leash,  
but something tells me you'll go farther than Greece.  
And then I'll have to figure out what to do.  
I'm kind of afraid I'm codependent on you.--Loquat_


	7. Oxymoron

A/N: OK so yaoi in this one. Though nothing hardcore so if your looking for smut…sorry. There is meant to be a sort of "full circle" understanding about this one. Anyway read and review if not I'll send bugs after you - p.s. Thank you for those who have favorited, alerted, and reviewed!

_--I want you  
You don't agree, but you don't refuse  
I know you—The Smiths _

The good thing about Shino is that he's never phased by anything. The bad thing about Shino is that he's never phased by anything.

It works out, to Kiba's benefit that Shino is a stone wall. Silently taking all of Kiba's anger and mood swings.

At time like these, after a mission, with an electricity flowing through him…Kiba is viable to do _anything_. He's "a danger to those around him" as Hana politely and eloquently states it.

So Kiba is stuck with Shino because Shino is the _only _person who can…_handle_ Kiba when he's like this. And really, that's saying a lot about Shino and even _more_ about whatever _is_ going on between Shino and Kiba.

Kiba is mewling and panting, trying to find someway to release his pent up energy. Scratching at Shino and clawing, growling—as if he's trying to rip his way _into_ Shino. And yet Shino just sits and casually pushes Kiba's hands away, never taking the bait, _never_ getting mad. Its enough to drive Kiba crazy.

And slowly but surely it does. "Shino" he growls, deep and low with anger so fierce it almost _burns_. "Do something Damn it" and then, suddenly he is on top of Shino staring at Shino's black glasses, seeing only his angry reflection. "Kiba" Shino's voice is low, in warning. "Shino, just stop." Shino archs an eyebrow and looks slightly confused. "Don't, you _know_, so just stop" and then Kiba is touching and pressing desperately…all to aware of the layer in between them.

Shino debates his options and decides to just sit still and let whatever Kiba is doing happen.

To Kiba ,Shino is like a blowup doll except he's warm and alive. For some strange reason the blood that spills from Shino's bruised lips offer him satisfaction. As if in some minuscule way he is affirming his existence and maybe (more importantly) Shino's humanity. Kiba revels in the changes of smell that Shino can't hide or control because Shino _can't_ detect them. This pleases Kiba, not _just_ because Shino isn't in control of this but also for the fact that in this one way Kiba is _better_ than Shino. Kiba is clawing and pulling harder, shoving Shino flat on his back, panting sharply into Shino's ear, rubbing himself against Shino…trying to feel something—_anything_.

Shino just stares, taken back by the change in Kiba but then again not _that_ surprised.

"You know" Kiba starts, his voice laced with mischief "By now, I would have had _Ino _crying." Shino cocks his head to the side, offering his neck…but not really. Again Kiba is reminded of the layers separating them and that ,despite all his clawing and pulling and determination and frustrating—he hasn't made a _dent_.

Instead, he just pulls himself apart every single time he gets like this and in the end the only lasting marks are left on _Kiba_. Marks of something that Shino is either to _afraid _or to _ashamed_ to try to understand or acknowledge (though its more than likely both).

Kiba shudders against him and if his clothes weren't so thick he'd probably feel something warm.

Shino tells himself it's the result of Kiba's sexual exertion (but really its more than likely tears)

Kiba thinks that Shino is like a blowup doll except that somewhere underneath all those layers there is something beating and warm. Something that Kiba will _never _reach.

This is the good thing about Shino, because Shino can never be hurt. This is the bad thing about Shino (the sad thing), because Kiba always is.

_--__Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me you know  
praying for love in a lap dance  
And paying in naivety  
praying for love and paying in naivety  
praying for love and paying in naivety, oh—Panic! At the Disco_


	8. Bracelet

A/N: No yaoi this chapter. For those that are worried, this definitely has a few more chapters before I run out of my pre-planned ideas and knowing me more will come. Ok so here is a color symbolism explanation…yellow: optimism, hope, illness, friendship; blue: unity, loyalty, coldness, sadness; red: passion, love, stop; and silver (grey): subtlety, decay, and wisdom. The reason I add this is so you know these colors weren't chosen randomly

_--__It hurts to find out that what you wanted _

_doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.__—Randy Mliholland_

Currently in Shino's hand there is a string of small, flamboyantly yellow, blue, red, and silver cubes that come full circle. In each cube is a letter written in a color that contrasts sharply with the surface. If one were to look closer they'd discover that the mismatched cubes strung together to spell: _Friends_.

"Friends? Hmm, Friends" Shino speaks quietly, almost to himself, tasting the word on his eloquent tongue, seeing how it sounded. It breaks something inside (well at least tears something) to see how foreign the word is to Shino. Kiba can feel the anxiety rolling off of Shino and it hits him that this whole concept of friendship maybe too human for bug-boy to handle.

Kiba shakes his head, brown spike jutting momentarily out of place. He watches as Shino's hands idly scratch behind Akamaru's ears. Instantly he feels awful for thinking that about Shino. But sometimes with Shino and his cold demeanor, his black shades that protect him from _more_ than sunlight…its easy to forget how human he really is (or might be).

Shino continues to rub his fingers against each cube as if trying to make an imprint on himself (as if feeling around with antennas), and all Kiba can think of is how he wishes Shino was petting _him_, wishes that there was something about _him_ worth imprinting.

It begins to occur to Kiba that the problem with this isn't that Shino isn't human enough to accept the offering but that the offering isn't human enough for Shino. Suddenly, Kiba realizes that the distance between a canine and an insect will never be surmountable. If that's the case—then what _are_ they doing?

Kiba watches as a small, subtle smile begins to make its way to Shino's face, and he feels something else tearing (breaking). Although, this time, he isn't sure why. Suddenly Akamaru is back at his feet and Kiba notices that he's been fidgeting, waiting anxiously for Shino's approval.

Shino nods and puts the bracelet on, underneath his sleeve where no one can see. He offers to train with Kiba and to both of their surprise, Kiba declines.

For whatever reason, Shino's approval isn't making him as happy as he thought it _should_. He wants Shino to hug him, touch him, and mark him back.He doesn't want the silent, quiet acceptance. He doesn't want the offer to help with necessary duties. Kiba needs a pack but all Shino can offer is a hive.

For a split second their eyes meet and Kiba feels something _shatter _(it hurts). Kiba can almost swear Shino looks…forlorn (but it's not like he can _really_ tell). Kiba turns and dashes away as Shino slips quickly into the crowd and vanishes.

It occurs to them both that no matter how hard they try this may never work. It occurs to Kiba that the harder he tries the more it falls apart because whatever it is they are reaching for—neither of them are human enough to grasp it.

_--Nothing's won so easily.  
_

_Even if it hurts_

_trying makes it worse—Loquat_


	9. Closer

A/N: So a little yaoi but not enough to distract. Well at least I don't think so. Please read and review…I'll make cookies?

_--And I'm always looking for you  
I'm still looking at you  
Whenever I'm not, whenever I'm not  
I'm looking for you--Metric_

People wonder, sometimes, what makes Shino and Kiba click. It's a miracle that they can even _tolerate_ each other much less be friends (at least that's what Neji thinks).

But the rest of the world isn't looking when they share these moments.

Kiba loves being like this with Shino. Lying on his back, wet from the lake water as Shino sits under a tree and reads a book about metamorphosis. Although Kiba can't tell, Shino is watching him out of the corner of his eye.

Examining the way his stomach muscles are stretched, his calves harden, his boxers ride slightly lower showing tan but not darkened skin. In honesty, Shino thinks Kiba looks…appealing. There is _something _in the way he's natural and strong and suddenly Shino sees what everyone else sees in Kiba.

He's not perfect by any means. He has freckles and scars and dog bites around his ankles. His smile is slightly crooked and his lips look unnaturally red as if constantly being chewed through. The brown of his eyes are not spectacular and if someone wrote Kiba on paper he'd seem…plain. But he's not—almost as if his imperfections come together to make _something_.

Kiba sits quietly, his head resting close to Shino's foot. The grass beneath him itches and the soft breeze makes him shiver but yet the feeling of being this _close_ to Shino is _so_ good he can't be bothered to move.

"Yes?" Shino's voice is deep and rich and fits the area of the lake as if he was _meant _to be here. Kiba pushes himself up on his palms and knees right in front of Shino's knees. He leans forward to the mostly covered face and stares…searching. Childishly he pulls the book out of Shino's hands and flips through, casually mming as if reading. Abruptly he leans back; forcing Shino's closed legs open, pushing his naked back _flush_ against Shino's jacket.

And then he smiles (not grins) and wiggles slightly, trying to get comfortable. "Are you in a cocoon, Shino?" his voice is light but his question isn't. "Kiba my book" Shino is annoyed at the loss of peace, the invasion of his space.

Kiba turns and has a contemplative look that seems unnatural on his visage. He leans closer, pressing him and Shino almost chest to chest, his breath ghosts over Shino's cheek. "Are you stuck?" His fingers, which are misshapen from being broken so many times, expertly pull the zipper of Shino's jacket and Shino is too shocked to _do_ anything.

"In my house" Shino begins, his voice wavering as Kiba's eyes are glued to his face…taking him in. Nervously Shino licks his lips, clears his throat, he reaches to readjust his collar but realizes it's gone. "I always feel like I'm in a glass frame." Kiba cocks his head in wonder, still staring, still…_searching_.

His hands move slowly against Shino's exposed skin, touching his collar bone, moving up to his neck. Shino inhales sharply, his skin tingling from the touch of Kiba's rough fingertips.

"You're not a butterfly, that's Chougi" Kiba chuckles at his dumb and inappropriate joke, moving his hands until they grasp the sides of Shino's glasses. Shino's hands suddenly jump out, automatically holding Kiba's wrists, rendering his hands immobile. Now Shino is deathly aware of their closeness and tries to move away—but there isn't anywhere to _go_.

Kiba's face leans closer, only inches away. "Are you a moth?" Shino rolls his eyes, his grip on Kiba's hands tighten. "Would you be the flame then?" his sarcasm and almost disdain seethe through as if the removal of his coat has evaporated some kind of emotion filter. Kiba grimaces, taken back by the sharp, penetrating question. "I would never hurt you Shino."

For a millisecond Shino's hands loosen just to retighten. He shrugs calmly "I would never _let_ you." Something flickers in Kiba's dull brown eyes, but quickly disappears.

"I just need to _know_." Kiba's voice is a whisper, pleading and with a gentle tug he removes Shino's glasses. Shino stills. It's strange. Kiba _has_ seen his eyes before but not like this. Not this close. Not this _open_.

The smile on Kiba's face dazzles him. As if within Kiba's teeth reside the stars from the night sky. It's as if suddenly Shino's world is in Technicolor and he's consumed with everything that _is_ Kiba. Kiba pats his cheek delicately "Ahh, so _there_ you are. For a moment" he _grins_ "I wondered."

With that grin the moment shatters, dissolving into the sands of time. Shino snatches his glasses back, upset. He pushes Kiba away and grabs his book. Inside he feels tricked, betrayed, duped. Like an ant under a microscope at first enraptured by the strange mass above it as the child lures it into comfort but then later being burned by the heat and sinister intentions.

"Shino…" but before Kiba can finish Shino stands and zips his jacket in one fluid motion. "Maybe I'm an ant", Shino begins to walk away, the grass and twigs crunching underneath his feet. Kiba grasps his arm, still on his knees, very much resembling a dog on a leash. He shakes his head "Shino, I, you, just…no…its not" Shino pulls Kiba off the floor and look at him eye to eye. The image of Kiba is now drowned in the black of his shades.

"Shino..." Shino turns away. "Don't Kiba. Leave it alone." Kiba stutters, confused and hurt all at once. "Damn it Shino, why can't we ever _understand _each other. I try so hard and…" Shino sighs "and what? Just stop OK."

It hurts, Kiba thinks, to be so _close_ and be pushed away, it hurts _more_ than when he could never get close. As if it's _not_ impossible but just not possible for Kiba—for them.

_--Running in circles  
Chasing our tails  
Comin' back as we are  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard--Coldplay_


	10. Possible

A/N: This is short. It's sort of an interlude chapter. The next chapter is already written and is way longer. Read and Review. -

_--__This is what I have been made of_

_To__ believe it is enough_

_This is what I'm after__—Lola Ray_

Shino nibbles on an apple while Kiba chats amicably about his mission with Naruto and Neji. It's hard to understand Kiba while he has a large chunk of steak sandwich in his mouth. In the distance Akamarau chases a dragonfly. "And I said, my nose doesn't lie but Neji, the damn bastard was all Byakugan, noble, _shit_, so we lost like fucking 15 valuable minutes."

Shino nods even though he's barely even listening, he does understand the point of Kiba's rant. Neji had underestimated him, the way everyone seems to.

"And ya know, that's why we should just always do missions together. Me and you buddy. Agent number 1 and agent number 2." Kiba barks out a laugh and throws his head back at some mental image. Shino raises an amused eyebrow at Kiba's ludicrous train of thought.

"Shino" Shino lifts his head, staring at Kiba's suddenly serious face. "Do you think we will always be friends forever?" Shino doesn't answer automatically. Instead he takes his time, thinks it over, trying to find the delicate words that won't upset Kiba. "It's possible" Kiba smiles "However, a lot of things are possible. For instance, its possible that a blood vessel in your heart could explode this very second." Kiba stares confused. "See, that didn't happen."

Kiba laughs bitterly at Shino's warped sense of humor and scratches his head. He takes a slice of apple out of Shino's container. "Is it hopeless then?"

To Shino this question doesn't really make sense in the flow of their current conversation. He is sure Kiba means something _more_. "Have you given up?" Shino's voice is calm and Kiba can't help but scout closer.

"No, I haven't." Shino nods…pleased? "Then no, its not _hopeless_." Kiba smiles broadly, genuinely. Apparently Shino has said the right thing. On the inside Shino sighs with relief, when Kiba gets like this it's difficult to find the _right_ words to say to him.

Even still, the relief of his accomplishment is short lived He's sure he's given Kiba some kind of false hope. But he can't bring himself to point out that hopeless and _impossible_ are not the same thing. And that the _worst possible feeling in the world_ has to be having hope in a lost cause (how Shino knows this, he's not sure—maybe its from Naruto, maybe its from Lee, or maybe its from the game he and Kiba play everyday).

_--__Sometimes I feel, _

_oh yes, _

_I could do __Almost everything I wanted _

_And__ it makes me cry -Emily __Bindiger__--_


	11. Gifts

A/N: Merry Christmas to you all. Some het in here. Yaoi too but nothing major. Beware of drunken people. Read and Review or you're a Grinch.

_--__Well everything's another excuse_

_To__ keep from doing what I want too_

_Like I would really love to kiss you_

_But I guess I'm in no condition__—We are Scientists_

Christmas was coming soon. Even if the calendar didn't say December 24th, Shino would _know _Christmas was coming soon. There was something in the air, in the way his father spoke softer, in the way even _Sasuke _had something to smile about.

Christmas in Konoha was always a welcome reprieve. There was a certain peace that came with this time of year. It was a peace that even the chaotic bugs spawning inside his very veins could feel.

Christmas in Konoha also meant that it was time to attend the ridiculous party that Ino always threw. As Shino finally arrived to his destination he sighed. Yes, he was happy to see everyone but not necessarily when they were in a drunken stupor. As Shino walked in the door he immediately relaxed into the warmth and music that encased the room.

Shino looked around, quickly scanning the room. In an afterthought he realizes that Ino had outdone herself this year. The tan walls were adorned with reeds and red glitter. In the corner stood a real Christmas tree in all its glory with an electric star on the top, on the floor around it is a shiny toy train making endless rounds. Frosty the snowman plays from the large speakers and in the corner of his eye he could see Naruto and Sai slurring the children's song.

Suddenly an arm wrapped around his neck and his nose is flooded with the distinct scent of Kiba's cologne and rum. "Shino!" Kiba nuzzled him, his tongue tasting his cheekbone.

As Shino moved his arm to the small of Kiba's back in an attempt to stabilize him, Kiba keeps licking and nuzzling. Finally, growing tired of Kiba's awkward display of affection, Shino pinches him; effectively breaking Kiba out of his spell. Kiba lazily pulled away, wearing a silly grin on his face. "MMM, Shino. Be my Santa." Shino sighed. A regular Kiba was tolerable _at best_. A drunk Kiba….

"Say! You're warm", his tan arms pulls Shino closer, so close that they are breathing each other's air. "Sooo warm."

Shino searched the room for a chair but the only one he could see was occupied by Sasuke who was currently receiving a clumsy lap dance from a wet and half naked Neji. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer began to play.

Kiba giggled. "You know Shino, I'd pick _you_. Every…" he licked , his tongue swiping against Shino's cheek "fucking" he pulls Shino's collar down just enough "time" and sinks his teeth. Shino jumps and almost drops Kiba…startled.

Not just by the feeling but by what it made him feel. He glares at Kiba who looks too amused with himself. "Pick me? You don't have to pick me." It's strange. Shino tells himself that what he means is that Kiba never had a choice. That by fate they have been thrown together and that's that—but inside he _knows_ that's not the truth. Kiba doesn't have to _pick_ him because Kiba already had him (has him, will have him.) Probably since the 8th time they said hello. "Of course stupid. My gift." Shino is startled and doesn't exactly know what to think. Kiba wraps himself tighter and mumbles something that could have been 'I'm sleepy' or 'merry Christmas'.

Another glance at the room and Shino sees Hinata blushing as Lee whispers in her ear with a broad grin creepier than his good guy pose. Inwardly, Shino shudders.

Shino begins to drag the half awake Kiba towards a room. Walking through the people and passing a distinctly _high_ Shikamaru….Shino finally enters the hallway. Sasuke walks out briskly, glancing just a little too long at Kiba. Ino follows soon after, her hair slightly fussed. She offers a secretive smile and wipes her mouth. As Shino walk s towards a bedroom Kiba mutters something like 'I'm gonna puke' or 'I'm in love with you.'

Shino stalls for a split second and then opens the door—an arduous task while supporting an inebriated Kiba. Finally, with a surge of relief, Shino tosses Kiba on the bed. He pants lightly, feeling something inside him stir as he watched Kiba stare at him with half-lidded eyes. Shino thinks that whatever Shikamaru was smoking got into his nose.

Taking a deep breath, Shino turns and locks the door. Slowly he removes his jacket and Kiba smiles softly "Knew I picked right…ove…you…long…heh…merry…miracles." Kiba's breath comes in rhythmic patterns and Shino starts to feel a _new_ kind of peace within his veins.

Gently, as to not wake Kiba (as if its possible), he lays down on the bed and lets his arm rest on Kiba's hipbone. Something in the pit of his stomach churns and the kikaichu burn underneath his fingertips. There is this need for more, just a little more. He begins to trace little designs on the small patch of skin….some of them are his name. He wants more….and slowly moves his fingers lower, and lower. Resting at the edge of Kiba's pants. But as his index traces the metal of Kiba's button, something like guilt seeps its way in and he stops. Sucking in a deep breath, Shino turns away and tries to will all the feelings back into the cavern that they came from. Desperately he searches for his center, for nothingness, for sleep. He scoots further away, almost to the edge of the bed. Ensuring that not even one inch of their skin touches.

Kiba stirs, disturbed by the lack of warmth. His hands itches as he reaches for something he can _feel_ but can't see. Shino turns away, turns into himself as he longs for something he can see but—can't _let_ himself feel.

Something in his chest burns as Kiba's muttering beings to slowly (_painfully_) pull him to sleep.

As sleep begins to claim him he tries to decipher Kiba's words—he's saying something like 'thank you' or maybe he's just saying '_stay_' (either way it hurts just the same).

_--__Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed_

_And__ I __wanna__ crawl in with you_

_But I cry instead_

_I want your warm, but it will on__ly make_

_Me colder when it's over—Fiona Apple_


	12. Goals

A/N: Beware. Some mature Content though I tried to keep it as PG-13 as possible. The character Shen is mine. Everything else isn't. Happy New Years guys! Read and Review. P.s. The quote at the bottom is mine from a poem of mine. So I suppose I own that too.

_--__Why doesn't someone stop __me_

_Because I'm sick of waking up on your floor_

_For the 6__th__ or 7__th__ night in a row_

_I'm lying next to you in all of my clothes_

_Someone stop me?—__We__ Are S__cientists_

Kiba has never been a man of goals. He was always more of the by the moment, screw the future type of man and frankly he believed every ninja should be just like him (that's why he's the best). However tonight Kiba would allow himself to break his own personal philosophy. Tonight Kiba had a goal. Yes, tonight Kiba was going to get drunk. So drunk , in fact, that the room would spin so fast that not even Sasuke could comprehend it.

As he sat at the poker table with Shikamaru, Neji, Chouji, and….._Sasuke?_ he feels that so far he's doing a very good job. Grinning stupidly around his 12th cup of whatever the hell he's been drinking he glances at his cards. In his hand he as an ace, king, jack, and ten. All spades. Inwardly he sighs, he's _one_ off. Looking across he sees a bit of red seeping into Sasuke's eyes and almost wants to call him out on being a cheat. But doesn't. If Sasuke is actually cheating in a simple game of cards then _obviously_ his cards can't be too good. Kiba's grin widens.

Tonight just might be _his_ night. Making a goal and reaching it _on top_ of possibly winning this card game….well this year might just be_ his_ year. And lord knows last year wasn't. A boy in grey glasses passes by and Kiba grimly finishes his drink. For a second he thought….but no, the boy was too short and lean and furthermore he had some low rise jeans on that Shino would never wear.

_Shino_….Kiba growls. Everyone looks up and Sasuke has an amused grin on his face. "Look we've been at this for frickin ever. Someone do something." The amusement in Sasuke's eyes doesn't fade. Neji nods and places his cards on the table. He has a queen, jack, ten, and nine. It's decent but not great. Chouji frowns and throws his cards down "I guess I'm out." Kiba doesn't actually see Chouji's hand but he knows it has to be some kind of crap if Neji's beat it.

The smirk returns to Kiba's face. If he can just wait it out maybe he'll win. He looks around expectantly and his ego deflates just a little as he realizes Shikamaru is indeed still in the game. Shikamaru places his cards on the table carefully. He has the exact thing as Neji except while Neji's were not all the same suit Shikamru's were all hearts. Neji sighs and sits back in his seat. He's out as Shikamaru has once again thwarted him.

Now its only Kiba and Sasuke. Although Kiba is not a great strategist he thinks at this point it's unlikely for Sasuke to beat him. Grinning with unearned pride Kiba slams his hand to the table, jostling all the drinks and standing up out of his seat. Sasuke stares at him, eyes moving up and down and then landing on the table. He smirks and mumbles something about Naruto and Kiba. Had Kiba been sober he would have heard. With an ease only Sasuke could manage he fans out his cards. He has an ace, king, _queen_, and jack. He smirks. Kiba glowers and sits back in his seat. The waitress walks by and refills his drink. "Aww" she says "you were only one off" and pats his back.

Sasuke nods "Yea one off but still not _good _enough." Kiba clenches his fist. Shikamaru sighs. "So what now." Sasuke stares with a bored expression but his hand lowers under the table. Kiba stands, slightly off kilter, and grabs the hard wooden chair to find his balance. Neji makes a face of surprise….whether its due to Kiba's drunken state or Sasuke's roaming hand…Kiba doesn't know. "I'm going. Dunno where. A bar or something." Kiba nods and the room shifts. He stumbles back again and smiles stupidly. His goal has definitely been achieved.

The rest nod their goodbye and Chouji waves, still upset over his loss in the card game. Kiba stumbles out of the door and onto the street. Its colder than he thought it would be.

He takes a few steps and topples over but is caught by not so strong arms. "You alright?" looking up it's _the_ boy. The one with the glasses. Kiba nods and feels the blood in his head spin. "Yea, 'Mm ok." The boy laughs, it's a comforting sound, and pulls Kiba up. "Sure you are." His tone twinkles with mischief and Kiba feels his pants tighten. He leans close to him. "Ss, Perhaps I ain't." he grins wickedly and takes the boys hand, forcing it lower and lower "Ya got some plan ta help?" The boy grabs hold of Kiba's growing erection and grins back. "You have no idea. Ever since I saw you playing cards." He leans in and kisses him roughly. Biting Kiba's lip in just the right way. Slowly he pushes Kiba onto the brick wall. "Ahh, I been playin dem right then?" Kiba feels deft fingers pull at his pants and then wrap around his erection pulling roughly.

Dazed by the pleasure Kiba throws his head back tongue wagging out like a dog begging for a treat. "The fuck, yeah. God." In his own ears he sounds like a whore but doesn't care. Hell Sakon could walk past right here right now and like _fucking hell_ would Kiba _care_. Then the boy stops. And lowers himself on to his knees. Kiba grins and pulls his face up to look at him. "Look at me. Always…" The boy smiles "Shen. My name is Shen." Kiba strokes his cheeks. He sharp nails making crescent shaped marks. "Shen. Look at me. Take off your glasses." The boy obliges and Kiba loves how he's so _easy_. Unlike…

Suddenly lips engulf him and he's in this whole new world. A world that's hot and warm and wet like a great glass of liquor. A world that makes all his blood rush and the only anchor he has are the sloppy slurping sounds coming from beneath him. "Ahh, Shen, fuck yea. Shit. Shen, Shin, _Shin…..OH_" With that he's finished and Shen pulls away, politely helping him put his pants on.

His lips move forming words but Kiba is too far gone to hear them. He knees wobble and he falls…the world suddenly a black and white picture movie. Shen reaches for him but as the black begins to grow he sees another pair of arms shove Shen away and feels that arm pick him up. Inside his ninja alarm _blares_ telling him to get the hell away now. Telling him to snap out of whatever self-induced waking dream he's in. But just as his chakra begins to flare something starts to suck it away and the world becomes black.

Waking he feels himself in warm arms. His body feels like crap. Instantly he notices the smell, and the feel of the big jacket. "Shino?" Big black glasses stare at him. "It new year's yet?" Shino flashes his watch…its 11:58. Kiba smiles. "Good." He pauses "God, I think I need to puke." Shino sighs and lifts him to the toilet. Kiba realizes this is Shino's house. Kiba can with ,one hand , count how many times he's been in Shino's house.

His stomach retches and he misses the toilet instead throwing up on the floor. Shino sighs again. "Shino?" In the background he can hear the countdown. _Ten, nine, eight_… he grabs a handful of Shino's jacket and Shino pulls away letting Kiba crumble to the floor. "Don't touch me Kiba." _Seven, six, __five_…."Shino soon it's gonna be a new year. My resolution for this year is that me and you can" the room starts to spin again as Kiba stands up and he feels the horrible black pulling him back in. _Four, three, two_… "can start…" He falls, reaching blindly for Shino but finding no one there to catch him. He _falls _against the cold tile. _One._ The blackness conquers him and he wonders what it would have been like to give Shino a New Year's kiss.

When Kiba awakes its in his own room. He smells like soap and salt. Bringing a tan hand to his face he realizes he's crying. This year was supposed to be _his_ year but here he is in his bed. Alone. Again. Just like every other New Years. This year was supposed to be the start of….Kiba thinks of Sasuke's words _'but still not good enough'_. Kiba sobs harder. Sasuke was right. Is right.

He lets out a bitter laugh. This year was supposed to be the start of something _new_. The start of something _good._ But instead it's another new year—and the same old Kiba.

_--Every time I pray_

_Maybe next time_

_But every time I try_

_I'm always denied_

_And it's always, always _

_My own fault.—NDS_


	13. Promiscuous

A/N: Yaoi alert. Again I'd like to thank everyone who reads, reviews, and favorites. It really does mean a lot. And because of that I'd like to say….rest assured , if you can't tell already, I am eventually going to get to the point of them actually getting together. R/R. My love for you all will only increase!

_-__-__Your so handsome_

_In__ this light_

_if only you'd reject me tonight_

_darling there's no only way _

_when you come please don't stay__—Metric_

At night, Shino watches Kiba.

Not in a romantic sort of way. He doesn't watch Kiba sleep. At night, Shino watches Kiba destroy himself.

This routine, of watching in darkness, started out of worry. Kiba's habits had changed. He was sleeping later, coming home at random times in the morning looking frail and frazzled. Shino remembers clearly, everything from the dust on the fan to the frown on Hana's face as she uttered the words that started this… "Something's eating Kiba."

It worried Shino, this change in how Kiba acted. Worried him _more_ than he cares to admit. And so, he followed. Well he didn't follow but he carefully placed a bug on Kiba that reported back in the morning, every morning, and told him where Kiba was.

Every night the location changed. Every night the duration changed. And every night it was made perfectly clear _what_ Kiba was doing.

So now, Shino watched Kiba for something more than curiosity. Watches as he arches and claws at a masked Anubu's back, Watches as the sweat glistens and as he twists and moans seductively, whimpering and saying words that have never sounded so sinful until this moment as they spill past his swollen lips.

Shino tries to pretend that it doesn't bother him. Pretends that his hand isn't itching to touch himself or that an uncomfortable feeling isn't pooling low in his stomach. And most importantly he tries to pretend it doesn't _hurt_ to see Kiba like this. Giving himself to people who spit on him with every look in their condescending eyes.

Kiba's night habits aren't a secret. Everyone _knows_—most from experience. Even Chouji has made a snide comment or two. Kiba always just smiles and laughs or shrugs and says "I haven't been turned away yet" or "None of them are complaining" and tosses a wink. But that doesn't make it any _better_.

Shino wonders what Kiba is looking for between the legs and sheets of every man and woman in the leaf village.

Kiba's moans get louder and Shino finally leaves his perch on the tree. He regrets coming. Regrets facing this gross truth (the truth of Kiba being like this, the truth of _liking _Kiba like this). As Shino slips into his bed he stares at the ceiling, trying to forget all the images of Kiba, trying to swallow his guilt down.

"Shino" the sound of his name startles him. He jumps up with a kunai perched between his fingers. Kiba sits on the window sill, shirtless, with mussed hair and a smirk. "Kiba, what are you doing here, at this hour, without a shirt." Kiba smirks, dropping his feet to the marble floor, watching as Shino pulls a black shirt from the draw.

"I smelt you." Shino freezes, the shirt drops. "You like what you saw?" Kiba's voice is low and overly seductive, obviously teasing but still the tenor of his words ripple through Shino's skin and he has to step back to just _breathe_. "You did, didn't you." Kiba's voice has changed. It's softer, more real, as if coming upon a realization.

Kiba moves closer and Shino backs away, hitting the bed. Kiba's lips upturn in a feral smirk and his eyes begin to gleam with something "Just tell me" his voice is a whisper in Shino's ear as he cranes his head upward, throwing his weight forward and successfully knocking them both onto the bed. "Tell me" Shino lies still, trying to control the conflicting emotions arising from their closeness.

"Kiba" his voice is husky even in his own ears. Kiba's hips connect and roll with his and he has to hold back a gasp that threatens to work its way into the air. Kiba's lips are on his ear and everything in his body is screaming for him to just give in...but then, the image of Kiba panting, staring up at the dark elephant mask worms its way into his mind and gives him needed clarity. With very little effort he throws Kiba off. "_Kiba_" , his voice is stern and he wonders when he started sounding so much like his father.

They sit side by side. Kiba pants and hangs his head low. "I won't let you do this." Kiba's head snaps up as if taken out of a trance. He stares bewildered. "I won't let you cheapen yourself this way." Shino drops his voice, barely above the soft tone Hinata speaks in "cheapen us."

Kiba sits and laughs awkwardly, casually running a hand through his hair. "Its hormones. Its just sex. Everyone does it." Shino shifts to the inside of the bed and lays back down. The pain in his chest is back. "You're disgracing yourself." Kiba moves and lies beside him. Inwardly the germ freak side of Shino cringes at the thought of Kiba, who is drenched in god, knows what, lying on his bed. "Do you think less of me?" Kiba watches Shino's face intently as Shino stares at the ceiling. Its strange and scary…being intimate like this.

"How many?" the question is blurted and blunt but its something Shino _needs_ to know. "I don't know. Do you want just the people we know? Ino, Neji, Sasuke, Gaara, Tenten, Shikamaru…uhh" Kiba's face flushes as the names pour out of his mouth "Genma" Shino raises an eyebrow. Kiba sighs "Can I stop now?" Shino closes his eyes "I wish you would."

The hurt in his voice cuts through the room and Kiba's skin itches as the fluids begin to dry. He wrinkles his nose. "I need a shower." Shino half nods, turning to his side, starting to fall asleep. "Hey. Shino?" Shino stirs "Hmm?"

Kiba desperately wants to say _something _but he can't. Shino's falling asleep anyway. Taking a long glance he finally turns away and being to step out of the windowsill. "Kiba" he stops, on foot still resting on the floor. Shino sounds like a lover waking up in morning, it's a sound Kiba has never heard before. "I hope you find it." He yawns "Whatever you seem to need." Without looking back Kiba leaves to go home and take a shower. He feels dirty.

It's funny. Out of all the times he's slipped out of a bedroom—this time hurts the most.

_--__But your halo's at your ankles _

_At your ankles with your panties _

_Your panties are a pot of gold _

_Gold at the end of the rainbow _

_Be careful how you're seen _

_You mean so much to me_

_You mean so much to me__—Metric_


	14. Background

A/N: ehh a little implied Kiba/Hinata. I realize she's not in the stories enough and she should be around more so ehh. No warnings. Read and review!

--I w_ant to give up_

_But you make it so hard_

_You make it so hard_

_I know it feels like_

_I've got nothing left for us_

_I wanted more—Young love_

It's like drowning. With Kiba this close to him, all he can breathe and see and feel is…Kiba. It's suffocating, and intoxicating, and freeing, and scary all at once. The sweat on Kiba's tanned skin rolls off, gently collecting and sticking to his skin, adding to the caked on dirt, filling Shino's nose with the smell of musk that can only come after a long training session. Its repulsive, Kiba in his uninhibited state, shirt off, pants unbuttoned, claws filled with grass and blood. Shino _should_ turn away but he can't.

Those big brown eyes stare into his own and his glasses lay on the grass, broken and shattered. Shino's panting from excursion, and he feels his bugs trying to relocate their personal hollow within him. Kiba moves closer, his face splitting into a grin, his fangs peaking over his chapped lips. Something inside of him wants Kiba closer, closer, closer, so close he's ingrained into his skin. He _wants _Kiba, wants something so deep that he feels his soul stop.

He realizes that the idea of him and Kiba is absurd. That Kiba is a smelly sock sitting inside a china store. That Kiba is a sloppy Joe in a gourmet restaurant. He knows that Kiba is all rough and edges and sharp and that he is delicate and refined. He knows that Kiba is a blade made from the finest metal, sitting unsheathed in a soldier's pocket and in comparison Shino is onyx in a king's treasury.

Even still, Shino can't push away the want to be Kiba's sheath, can't push away the _need_ for Kiba to steal him out of the chest and take him somewhere far away. If Shino had been someone else, someone more free, someone with less rules and less chains, someone less reserved he'd grab Kiba and press his mouth against Kiba's until the shear heat of passion melted them together.

"Hey" Shino blinks, trying to pull everything back into focus. "You're not mad are you?" Mad? Shino blinks a few more times, trying to pull himself back to earth, trying to comprehend the situation.

"Cause then, you'd just be a sore looser ya know." Kiba leans closer, the victorious smirk plastered on his face, and all Shino can think is that he wants that look to stay forever. He wants Kiba to succeed and have everything he deserves, wants so bad to be the wood to Kiba's flame.

He also _knows_ that the wood gets burned and the flame is used to keep someone else warm, he _knows _that the sheath is discarded and the sword used to protect another. Hinata stops ahead of them and stares, waiting for the two boys to leave the training grounds. He knows that his place in Kiba's life will always be in the background and that that's no place for these complicated feelings.

His father told him once, when he was only a genin, 'only a fool fights a loosing battle'. It's not as if the prince's shoe shiner can ask for his own happy ending. It's an Aburame teaching, that life can, at many times, be cruel and to live life in the pursuit of your own happiness is to be selfish. So Shino shakes his head 'no' and mutters good job. For a second he thinks Kiba wants to say more but then Hinata calls for them and before Shino can _blink _Kiba is gone, running to catch up to her.

Shino walks carefully behind them, carrying the supplies from the training ground. He watches as the sun glistens on Kiba's sculpted back and inwardly sighs. Hinata giggles and then Kiba turns to smile at him. Kiba's smile causes something to rise inside Shino's very being and if Shino were a different person, a stronger person, a more fearless person, a less logical person, a person who acted on their feelings….he's sure he'd shout out "I love you."

As soon as the words enter his mind, Shino shakes his head and puts on his broken glasses. Kiba's smiling face breaks into a million distorted images and Shino desperately tries to see nothing at all. All these complicated emotions weren't getting him anywhere.

As his father used to say, only fools go after more than what they've been given. But if Shino were a less obedient son, if he were a lesser Aburame, if Shino were a stronger willed person, a selfish person, he'd…again Shino shakes his head, tightening his eyes as if trying to rid himself of a painful headache. He's _just_ Shino (sadly, unfortunately) and that alone is reason enough to give this up.

_--And he spoke of dreams_

_Broken by the burden_

_Broken by the burden of his youth_

_Fourteen years he said_

_I couldn't look into the sun—Sade_


	15. Hesitation

A/n: Umm so some implied Sasuke/Naruto and Sasuke/Neji. Yeah I have no clue where this under-running Neji Sasuke thing is coming from. Nor do I know why I keep having Kiba associating with Sasuke which is so not cannon…at all. I know this is short but I needed this before I could put the next thing in and anyways…sometimes it is Kiba's fault. Sorry for the delay…but I promise I'm going to make a lot of you happy on Valentine 's Day!!

_--You came to make sure_

_That I'm not running_

_Well I ran from him_

_In all kinds of ways—__Tori__ Amos_

"Sasuke" his arm shoots out, sufficiently stopping the raven haired boy in his tracks. The small, logical part of his brain is blaring alarms. He's not listening.

"You god-damn asshole" he bares his teeth and growls deep. Sasuke raises an eyebrow, glancing from the clawed grip on his shoulder to the menacing brown eyes glaring at him. He smirks. "Kiba …do you mind?" Kiba's grip tightens. "Mind? Do I fucking mind?"

Sasuke sighs and tries to conceal his slight worry, Kiba is a fighter fueled by his emotions, the angrier he got—the harder it would be to shut the puppy up.

"Look, whatever you do with Neji is your damn business but when I have to hear one of my best friends _cry_..." Sauske's eyes widen marginally, in shock. He didn't think this was about Naruto. He didn't think Naruto would cry—especially to Kiba. Kiba's grip loosens.

The logical part of Kiba is kicking in. He's in some shit... challenging Sasuke. "You should grow some balls Sasuke, everyone _knows_ how you really feel…about them both. " Finally Sasuke pushes Kiba's hand off. Its dangerous getting into another ninja's business. Actually its an unspoken rule to keep your mouth _shut _about another ninja's business because in a town where everyone is trained in stealth—its not worth the trouble.

_This_ is why Sasuke must choose his words wisely. There is no benefit in pissing off another ninja, especially when said ninja's team specializes in tracking aka finding the shit you meant to keep hidden.

"Kiba, do you really want to go _there_? Because _I _can go there just as easily." Sasuke looks smug and all the unsaid thing are hanging in the air like : _Shino _and like who were _you_ with last night. Instantly Kiba deflates, the tip of his ears begin to redden. "There ain't nowhere to go asshole." If Sasuke were 12 again—he'd roll his eyes. "Not only are you a hypocrite, but you're a liar as well."

Kiba digs his claws in his palm, fighting Sasuke won't benefit him at all, and honestly he'd probably just end up with his ass kicked. "I'm not really sure what you…"

"**Shut up** Kiba. You are the _most_ obvious person in this country." Kiba blushes. Right now logical Kiba is saying 'get the hell away…NOW.' "Well look, just…stop hurting Naruto ok." It takes all of Sasuke's reservation to steel his face and not tell Kiba where he needs to shove it. "Ok?" God, Sasuke thinks, it would be so easy to just _hit _him. Instead Sasuke simply snorts and begins to walk away. "Right, tell Shino I say hi when you see him tonight" he pauses for some effect "wait you won't be seeing him will you?" With that final dig, Sasuke is gone…leaving a frustrated Kiba standing in the street.

"Fricking Naruto, stupid fucking Sasuke" he mutters bitterly slowly making his way to Shikamaru's house which is 5 miles in the wrong direction from where he should be and 8 miles from where he _wants _to be.

Akamaru stares up at Kiba's desolate face and whines. Kiba shrugs. He knows he could easily turn around and go to Shino's. He _thinks_ about it all the time. But if he got there, would Shino be awake? What would he say? Would Shino let him stay? He knows that if he just _went t_here, it would mean something and then Shino couldn't deny this…them…it. He knows that it could be the start of the one thing he dreams about, the one thing he yearns for as he stares up at random faces. Kiba isn't that dumb….he knows what is in the opposite direction.

"I suppose" he says, more to himself than to Akamaru "I could go, maybe tomorrow night even. There isn't anything stopping me." Except maybe everything.

_--Baker __Baker__ baking a cake_

_Make me a day_

_Make me whole again_

_And I wonder if he's ok_

_If you see him_

_Say hi—__Tori__ Amos_


	16. Kiss

A/N: Happy Valentine 's Day everyone! I believe this is one of if not the longest chapter. Before anyone freaks out….NO THIS IS NOT THE END….I repeat this is not the end. There are actually a slew of more chapters in the making! Yaoi warning and actually from now on probably. Beware of Shino humor. Read and Review, its what keeps me going!

_--Lift up your open hand_

_Strike up the band _

_And make the fireflies dance_

_Silver moon's sparkling,_

_So kiss me—Sixpence None the Richer_

Its hot, in the gross, humid, sticky, kind of chilly from the breeze, sort of way. It sucks. Shino stands across form him with pants rolled up to his shins, his feet lifting with effort throughout the mud. Its annoying, how he still looks so collected even with pails of fish bait and mud caked fingers, he somehow manages to look _cool_.

Which happens to be the exact opposite of Kiba, who, in his cut off shorts and shirtless attire resembles a famer's son. Kiba also lack the natural grace of the Aburame clan and therefore finds himself wading knee deep in muck, tripping every few steps…sometimes almost landing face in. Of course—Shino saves him.

Kiba knows he should be more grateful but he's absolutely _pissed_ that they are doing some D ranked mission right now. It's embarrassing. Yeah, so _what_ if he called the fire country's ambassador a horseshit licking bitch who probably couldn't tell her own asshole from her face because she was _that_ damn ugly…its not like he meant it to be _personal _or anything. And so _what_ if Shino snickered loud enough for Tsuande to hear (which remains a shock to Kiba)…that _still_ isn't a good enough reason to force them to do this.

Its not that Kiba really hates the job. He doesn't mind physical work, nor does he mind getting dirty and sweaty…actually he loves the feeling of mud in his toes…it makes his skin soft.

It's the _principal _that upsets him. It's the fact that this was done just for the sake of degrading him…and Shino. Shino is still wearing that damn jacket and honestly it's making Kiba hotter than he already is. "Dude, it's too frickin hot for that jacket, you must be boiling." Taking his hands out of the mud he wipes them on his tan pants, using the semi-clean back of his hand to wipe the seat that threatened to drip into his eyes. "It's only 80 degrees Kiba." Shino continues to work diligently, moving from section to section, mud seemingly parting out of his way. Kiba scoffs, setting his hands on his hips, "Yeah maybe, but it feels like fucking Hades."

Shino doesn't bother answering and just readjusts his sleeves, giving Kiba a pointed look that clearly said…get back to work. Its weird, but despite the heat and sweat and gross wiggly things—it's nice; to be out here, just the two of them, silent and yet comfortable. Its also kind of boring.

Sighing loudly Kiba drops the heavy pail out of his hands, watching it sink half way in. Shino looks up in question, "Are you hungry?" Kiba shakes his head and places his dirty hands in the space where his legs are spread, making a cupping motion…he smirks. Slowly, never letting his eyes leave Shino's calculating face, he dips his hands into the mud, letting chakra gather as well. Shino stops working, placing the worms into the pail, wiping his hands carefully against each other, "Kiba?" The smirk on his face broadens; the trace of a dimple begins to show, "think fast." With that simple growl of a warning he tosses the ball of mud, watching as it explodes directly into Shino's face.

Shino stands still like a statue, mud dripping down from his hair, under and over his glasses, past his mouth, his neck, and under his jacket. Kiba laughs, grabbing his knees as the laughter shoot pains in his stomach., oddly he wonders if this is how Deidara felt every time he watched things combust.

"Shit Shino, you should see yourself man." Shino doesn't respond and instead unrolls his sleeve and wipes some mud off his forehead. "Chakra, Kiba?" Kiba grins again and stands up straight, obviously proud of himself. "Come on, I'm hungry and your dirty."Shino nods, "Are you hitting on me Kiba?" His voice is so serious and his face is so deadpanned it takes awhile for Kiba to realize he's joking and when he does he's so shocked he can only sputter "I…I mean I'm not…"

Shino rolls his eyes and turns away to walk towards the grassy area where the benches are. Its takes a moment but Kiba regains his composure and follows after him. When he reaches the bench Shino is peeling off his jacket, making a disgusted face at the muck covering his black under-shirt. He sighs and runs a hand through his matted hair. "Kiba…" the reprimand hangs in the air unsaid.

Oddly enough Kiba is kind of attracted to Shino right now. There's something about his scared arms with veins running through them, something about the dirt and ruggedness of Shino that Kiba finds alluring. Something about the unique smell, that he still hasn't found a word for, lingering underneath the smell of earth.

Shino places the basket of food on the wooden table and takes out sandwiches, rolls, and stewed vegetables. The smell of the meal is intoxicating and Kiba quickly finds his spot on the bench, right beside Shino. Mumbling to himself, Shino uses a wet towel to try to wipe off most of the dirt.

He rubs at his shoulders. "You ok?" Kiba holds his hand out across his mouth to keep the food from splaying everywhere. Shino nods and picks at a roll. On impulse Kiba grabs Shino's glasses, "They're dirty." Shino nods, places his finger up in a wait motion as he chews the food in his mouth. "I wonder why." Kiba laughs lightly; "Yeah well" he lifts his shoulders and shrugs.

They fall into a comfortable silence. Kiba hums softly around his third roll, reveling in this _close _feeling that has taken so long to come. "What?" Shino questions, his murky eyes gazing at Kiba's. Its like melting amber, except there's this tint of milky white swirling in. He wonders all the time about Shino's eyes, what he sees, what he feels…what he's hiding. As if in a trance Kiba drops the roll out of his hands.

"What?" Shino's voice sounds softer, garbled in the background of Kiba's mind. Kiba smiles "Your eyes." Shino scoffs and Kiba can actually see the amusement and confusion. "Yes? I was positive that we are past this phase." Kiba nods, still amazed by it all, by how truly handsome and _human _Shino really is. "Shino" his voice is barely a mumble and really if Shino's face wasn't _this _close the word would have remained unheard.

"Kiba we need to…" but before he can finish Kiba's lips clash against his own, the taste of dirt and cucumber is prominent and nauseating; Shino's face reels backwards and his bottom lip gets caught against Kiba's fangs. Startled, as if he wasn't the one who initiated everything, Kiba jumps back and falls off the bench. "Shit Shino…I'm so…" he stops at a loss for words. There is silence and he's absolutely terrified of Shino's reaction.

What if Shino killed him, he'd be left for dead in this mud pond, literally worm meat. The color begins to fade from his face. "Look Shino…" again he stops, his voice trembling, just waiting for the hit to come. Instead when he looks up, Shino stares, holding a finger against his cut lip. A strangled noise makes its way through and Kiba is sure he's going to start yelling. However, he doesn't. Shino's face lights up into a smile and he begins to laugh, not snicker, not chuckle but outright _laugh_.

His eyes squeeze shut and he doubles over, placing a hand on his torso. Kiba stares up at him…stunned. Shino gasps for air and continues laughing, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. It seems uncontrollable, as if his lifetime's worth of laughter has all compiled and spilt out now, in this single moment. "You…ha ha…_god_ Kiba", finally he beings to sober up. Kiba has moved to his knees, looking up expectantly and observing. "That was the worst kiss ever." Kiba chuckles nervously, scratching behind his head. "I can't believe it. You are _Kiba_. The _Sex God_….and then you kiss like _that_."

Kiba's face colors red and he growls in embarrassment "Whatever you moved damn it!" Shino laughed again and walked over, offering a hand to help Kiba up. "Ok Kiba" he says seriously as if reading at a funeral "Whatever you need to tell yourself." With that he yanks Kiba off the grass. "Fuck you Shino." They begin walking back to the mud. "Not if you kiss like that." Kiba stops, stares at Shino as if he's never seen him before. "Hey" he grabs Shino's wrist, stopping him from entering the mud. At this point he figures he doesn't have anything else to loose.

"Be my valentine next week?" Shino rolls his eyes and sighs. Without any further sign he tugs his arm backward with enough force to send Kiba flying into the mud. Kiba flails for a moment and then resurfaces, spitting out thick chunks of mud and grass. Shino's face is impassive, walking coolly he stops in front of the drenched boy.

Slowly and deliberately he takes his pointer and thumb presses them together and then flicks Kiba's ear. "Sure I will." Kiba smiles softly, feeling warmth in his chest. As he picks up his pail again Shino pauses and looks thoughtful. "But—you'll need to learn how to kiss." Sitting on the floor, drenched in mud, Kiba laughs and Shino just shakes his head and smirks…restarting his search for worms.

It didn't matter anymore that they were on a D-mission or that they were dirty or that they had hated each other or that they had hurt each other, or that they had spent _so _long afraid to _see_ each other.

The only thing that _really _mattered was that they were beginning to take the first out of many steps towards the long road that would eventually lead them to each other—finally.

_--I was down and I fell for you completely_

_When I wanted your heart and you didn't want me_

_Now you did_

_But now you did—The Kooks_


	17. Words

A/n: OK so sorry for the delay, this one took a lot of editing. I'm still kind of unsure about it. On that note school is becoming hectic but I promise to try and keep up with this…I'll need some kind of release anyways. I have things planned out but ugh something is trying to make me change direction….we shall see!! Oh by the way…indigo's ocean is trying to convince me to do a side story of Neji, Sasuke, Naruto…..what do you all think?? READ AND REVIEW….Shino will send love bugs!

_--Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed_

_You step a little closer each day_

_Still I can't say what's going on—Damien Rice_

Its like butterflies. Just the silent thump, thump of wings fluttering against air, maybe with the air, going on any current that enraptures it.

Lately they don't speak anymore. Shino has come to this acute observation but yet…it holds no negative feelings. They just have nothing to _say_. Its as if, suddenly, something so deep and profound has transpired that there is a _need_ for this silence, this mourning, this appreciation before messy, sticky, jumbled words potentially ruin everything, or maybe just anything.

They fish lately. Or they train or they go for runs, or sometimes they find this grassy spot behind Kiba's creek and they lay on Akamaru; Shino looking at small bugs and Kiba rubbing Akamaru's fur.

Now, they are by the main river at dusk, Akamaru bounds somewhere in the seeable distance, chasing fireflies. Shino watches from afar as Kiba prances in the water, trying to catch a fish with his bare hands. He's naked but too far away and in too deep for Shino to _really_ see anything; in the back of his mind he wishes he had Neji's eyes. Water splashes as Kiba pounces from section to section, shaking his head and grinning at Shino, giving a thumbs up as he braces himself to catch another fish.

Shino nods in encouragement, watching as Kiba dives down and back up again, coming out soaked…and empty handed. Kiba hangs his head down low, obviously embarrassed. With a shrug Shino tries to silently assuage his defeat.

Kiba is kind of like a butterfly. All color and life and movement. Something to behold. Floating from place to place, friendly yet resourceful enough to ward away foes. Most importantly he's beautiful and free, beautiful _when_ he's free. And maybe that's another reason for the silence. Maybe all those messy words are just chains drying him out, locking him into a frame. Shino thinks this is it, thinks that_ this_ could be the reason why Kiba is so much better with his actions than he is with his words.

If Kiba is a butterfly then Shino is a moth, all grey and dark and opaque, trapped in his own self made misery and darkness.

Just a moth and butterfly coming from the same kind of cocoon but still so—different, yet they belong together in a way only things that have been ripped out of the same prison can perceive. They are like magnets with all opposing and attracting ends, floating around each other, meeting somewhere in a semi-illuminated middle. The flame of what they can be, all their desires, all their fears, flickers pulling them in, burning them up.

Kiba smiles broadly, waving his hand frantically, holding up a small, flopping, silver fish. Shino can't help but smile back softly, staring at Kiba glistening in the water, sun reflecting on _just_ the right positions, his teeth beaming happiness straight to Shino's heart, the small glance of his smooth pelvis and abs stirring something strong in Shino's stomach.

Kiba gazes in wonderment at the baby fish he has finally succeeded in capturing. With a gentle stare he cups it, takes his fingers to trace its scales and then slowly, as it begins to still in his hands, lets it go back into the water. If Shino wasn't fully dressed and if Shino wasn't so dignified he'd have ran over and kissed Kiba, right then and right there.

It's because of all the butterflies, in his brain and in his stomach and in his heart. Fluttering hard and fast, making him swell with something so loudly he can hear it, taste it, is _consumed _by it. Kiba bends over, still in the water, hands on his knees, with a huge smile still on his face and blow a kiss. In that moment, a look of love clouds Kiba's eyes making them deep and dark and murky. Shino thinks (hopes) that maybe inside of Kiba there are moths chewing at him, festering, taking nest and growing.

He waves his hand inward, calling Kiba back to the grass. He thinks they've been separated long enough. Grabbing his shorts, Kiba slips in them and sprints up to see Shino, only a sliver of upper thigh being flashed in Shino's direction. "Watcha thinking bout?" It's the first words said all day. Shino ponders an appropriate and sufficient response. Its butterflies and moths and flames all dancing around each other…all dancing together.

But that's not _it _and Shino wants to say _it_ to Kiba, wants so badly to finally be able to _explain_. Instead he just grabs him and presses their lips together, all sloppy and wet. Until he is able to finally find the right words—it'll have to be enough.

_--__Cause__ its not hard to fall_

_And I don't want to scare her_

_Its__ not hard to fall_

_And I don't want to loose_

_Its__ not that hard to grow_

_When you know that you just don't know—Damien Rice_


	18. Date

A/N: Yaoi warning as usual. Sorry this took so long! Hope you all enjoy. Thank you to those who have reviewed, altered, and favorited this story. Also special thanks to earthbender068 whom happens to be the main reason I keep this thing updated!

_--Take me anywhere_

_I don't care_

_I don't care_

_And in the darkened underpass_

_I thought o God, my chance has come at last_

_(But then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask)—The Smiths_

Kiba fidgets lightly with his sleeves, long red and smooth. He pushes his black pants down and traces a finger nail against the triangles that paint his skin. Shaking his hair for the tenth time he inhales and begins his trip to the restaurant, smirking as hi mother whistles and taps his butt lightly on his way out.

Its not _a date_. That's what Kiba has been telling himself because he and Shino aren't necessarily at the '_dating_' phase of the relationship. And actually they really haven't discussed if they are and _us_ or if there is _even_ any relationship at all.

So it's not a _date_. It shouldn't be any different from all the other times they've grabbed a bite to eat. Except Akamaru and Hinata aren't there and its 8 o'clock at night and Kiba has _never_ ever taken this long to get ready or ever tried so hard to look good.

Even with all those added variables it's still not necessarily a date. But the twisting, flopping, acid burning feeling in Kiba's stomach as he reaches the restaurant tells him its not exactly innocent either.

Its 8:07 and when Kiba looks at the table Shino is already there—prompt as always. Drool pools in his moth making him swallow as he stares at Shino, hair spiked and fashionable grey coat that is embroidered with the Aburame clan symbol. Walking with forced casualness he slips into the seat across from Shino. "Sorry I'm late." His voice cracks like a prepubescent boy and his hands sweat. He clears his throat.

Shino shrugs "You've been later." Its true and Kiba chuckles a little to hard, shifting in his seat. Shino raises an eyebrow. "Soo…uh…you order yet?" Shino stares blankly, shakes his head no, "I thought it would be quite rude of me."

Oh, Kiba thinks, well duh. He shifts again, thrumming his fingertips on the smooth wooden table. Kiba desperately tries to read the menu but his hands keep quivering and the bile rising up isn't helping his appetite. He can't believe he's this nervous. He is _Kiba Inuzuka_ damn it, a sex icon of the leaf village…heck _the_ sex icon of the leaf village. And here he is acting worse than Hinata, completely blowing his chances.

Shino's hands shoo out, grabbing Kiba's and stilling them. "Kiba…why are you acting so nervous?" Kiba wants to answer something witty, something sexy, say anything so he can just exhale. But his tongue gets dry and everything begins to falter expect words that he can't really define. He reaches back and scratches his head "I just don't know what to order." The words sound lame before they even leave his lips and inside he cringes about how awkward everything feels.

Shino raises a skeptical eyebrow and squeezes Kiba's lemon into his tea for him "Oh that's understandable, I can order for you in that case." Kiba nods not trusting himself to speak.

When the waiter comes Shino orders some noodles and fish for himself and steak strips for Kiba. They sit in silence, Kiba's nervousness charging the air. Shino rubs his thumb over Kiba's knuckles, soothingly. "How was your day?" Kiba breathes in deep, inhaling that familiar and indescribable smell that makes his heart thunder and his lungs close up. He sighs, digs his nails into his arms, trying to bring himself back to here and now. "G-Good", he clears his throat. "My day was good." His voice is raspy in his own ears. Shino smirks.

"That's good." Its hard for Kiba to really focus on anything coming out of Shino's mouth when his fingertips are rubbing smooth and strong against his skin. It burns. The food comes and despite how upset his stomach is, Kiba can't be happier for an excuse to break their focus on each other.

Kiba shovels food in his mouth, only stopping to take gulps of his tea while Shino stares at him—perplexed, slowly placing bites of equal sizes in his mouth. Meticulously alternating between chewing and tapping his lips with the cloth napkin. "Kiba you should attempt to swallow your food." For a moment Kiba falters in vigorous almost binge like eating. He opens his mouth to speak and makes the mistake of pushing too much food, too soon down the wrong direction. His breath barely wheezes out as he tries to cough and hack up the pieces of onion and steak that are making their way into his wind pipe.

He grasps at his throat, waving his arms around, trying to convey that he is, indeed, choking and, yes, it would be great if _someone _fucking helped him.

Shino's eyes widen in alarm and then relax in an exhausted expression. Standing up he pulls Kiba out of his seat and warps his arms around him, pressing chakra laced hands against Kiba's taught stomach. With three surges Kiba vomits onto his plate, thick chunks of steak and phlegm falling out.

Kiba winces, shits his eyes, trying to hold back the tears of embarrassment and pain. His stomach feels like steel coil, his head aches and the worse part is despite all of this he still can't help but enjoy and revel in the feeling of Shino's strong chest on his back, his thick fingers holding his stomach. "Fuck" he says, his voice shaking "I ruined everything. Fuck—sorry."

Shino relinquishes his hold and nods. "Its ok, we should go get some fresh air." Shino places money on the table and grabs Kiba's hand, leading him out of the little restaurant and into the street.

Kiba inhales deeply, enjoying the feel of the cool grass tinted air filling his lungs, calming him. "I'm sorry", his voice is sullen and serious. This hasn't gone the way he planned. Shino nods "I know." Its simple, almost callous words but Shino squeezes Kiba's sweaty hands and Kiba knows its his way of saying: that's _ok_. "My hands are sweaty." Shino nods. "I know. Why _are_ you so nervous tonight?"

Kiba doesn't answer and instead stares up at the cloudy sky, feeling a little giddy that Shino is _still _holding his hand. "I forgot to tell you that you look extremely nice tonight Kiba." Kiba smiles and blushes, glancing at Shino from the corner of his eye. Trying to detect and hint of a lie. "You smell good tonight. You always smell good."

As soon as the words leave his mouth he wants to band his head against a wall. You _smell _good…of _all_ the compliments. Shino makes and amused noise in the back of his throat "What do I smell like?" Kiba shrugs, still feeling grumpy over his apparently awful flirting capabilities. "I don't know. Nothing I guess." The pair stops walking in front of a river, both staring at the moon's reflection. "Nothing?" Kiba sighs and leans a little closer, his nose almost touching Shino's shoulder.

He breathes in deeps, letting everything that _is _Shino inhabit him and then reluctantly he breathes out. "You smell like happiness." His voice is a whisper. He inhales again. Finally it hits Kiba that Shino smells like happiness, like hope, like a dream, like love and that all those things will always smell like and will always _be _Shino.

Shino makes and odd face and Kiba isn't really sure he _understands _and realizes that this barrier of communication could become a problem. Kiba reopens his mouth to clarify but then Shino nods and says "Good", squeezing Kiba's hand tighter, pulling him closer to his body. And suddenly everything is Shino. Shino's hand holding his, Shino's smooth silk jacket, Shino's glasses, Shino's smell, Shino's heart.

Shino stares at the hand that is resting in his, pale against tan, mixing, melting, melding, and molding. It looks like art. It feels like perfection. "Kiba." Kiba hums too relaxed and peaceful to actually speak. "We should go home, we have a mission tomorrow." With that he lets Kiba's hand go and taps his shoulder in a brief hug. Its all so much, almost too much and if Shino is being honest its scary the feelings that just _being_ with Kiba causes.

Kiba nods and smiles sadly, shoving his hands into his black pants. "Kiba?" Shino feels he need to say something more, as if just walking away now would mean walking way permanently from Kiba and that's not really what he wants. "I thoroughly enjoyed our date."

Kiba blushes and chuckles, trying to subdue the almost giggle that attempts to worm its way out because Inuzuka's do _not _giggle—ever. He's not really sure what to say and is kind of too shocked by the word _date_ to find anything intelligent anyways. He's terrified d he'll end up blurting of 'I'm in love with you.' Instead he just smiles "Yeah well, it was good…just being with you."

With that he leans in and kisses Shino, soft and meaningful, right on the cheek. Shino smile again and nods, finally turning away to walk home…sparing Kiba a lingering last glance. As he watches Shino's retreating figure Kiba feels good—downright _giddy _even.

For the first time it feels like they _are _an us or at least are becoming one. For the first time Kiba finally feels like he has a place where he belongs or at least one where he _wants_ (needs) to belong and that's more than enough.

_--Then I'll take your hand_

_Finally glad_

_Finally glad_

_That you are here_

_By my side—Tori Amos_


	19. Betrayl

A/N: sorry this took so long. I lost the original and had to rewrite it (I like this one better) so to make up for that it is extra long!! Woot woot. Umm warnings in this one. Mature content guys. I tried to keep it as pg-13 as possible. Read and Review.

--_I'm aware of what the rules are_

_But you know that I will run_

_You know that I will follow you—Tori Amos_

Shino sighed for the fifth time tonight. Partially from exhaustion, but mostly out of pure frustration. Taking a deep breath, he pauses, trying to calm his nerves. He was always a little jittery the night back from a mission. He supposes every ninja is. It's hard to adjust back to civilian life, its something they don't train you for in the academy. It's something that even being a Aburame doesn't help or make better.

It doesn't seem to help at all that he can't find Kiba anywhere. It's strange, Kohona isn't that large of a village and Kiba can only _be _so many places. He's only left Kiba alone for 15 minutes while he went to file the mission report, and somehow within that short span of time….he had lost all traces of Kiba.

Its not as if Shino is worried _for_ Kiba. He's more worried about what Kiba can _do_. Kiba has always been dangerous after missions. Something about his Inuzuka blood burning hot that turns him into a savage beast. Something about the pure energy coursing through him that fills him the rage and power so raw –it burns to even be near him. It doesn't help at all that although they had prepared for an A-rank mission, the recon ended up going off uneventfully. Meaning that somewhere around the village was a mission ready, frustrated, disappointed, pissed off, rowdy Inuzuka Kiba.

Shino rolls his shoulders back, trying to release some of the tension. He feels his kikaichu underneath his skin, like hot metal, bubbling up—hungry. Shino shakes it off, exercises some control. He can't do anything about the kikaichu unless he finds a person for them to feed off of or goes back home to the hive. However, with the search for Kiba no where close to being finished, none of the options are viable.

Shino mentally checks off the places he has been.

He's been to Chougi's who happened to be eating with Shikamaru and Neji. He passed by Ino's. Naruto, Sasuke, and Lee were on missions. Hinata had left with her family for some diplomacy meeting that she promised to inform him of when she returned. Kiba was not at either training grounds nor was he at their usual fishing spot. He wasn't with Hana or at the dog pound. Sakura is currently at work, and even if she wasn't…Kiba wouldn't be with her anyways, something about the color pink and a bad childhood memory.

With that in mind Shino tries to think of more places that he hasn't been and that Kiba would be likely to be at. He settles for searching the bar and begins his trek there.

If anything happens tonight Shino will be, for lack of better words, in _deep_ shit. It is his unofficial duty to watch Kiba for at least 18 hours after a mission. Sometimes more. This promise that he made to Tsunade, complied with the likelihood of Kiba being that next leader of his clan, is the only reason that Kiba is still in the village much less a ninja.

Shino can remember with little effort the day Kiba was deemed a danger to others. They were 15 then and had just returned from a B-ranked mission. Kiba had gone to the meat shop to get food for his mother before he went home. Shino to this day is not sure why or how the situation started. He however is aware that it ended extremely badly for the meat shop owner's son, Pai.

Shino readjusts his glasses and fixes his collar, feeling the uncomfortable sting of sweat and dirt. He arrives at the bar and cringes his nose at the strong smell of alcohol. Taking a tentative step forward he glances in and scans the room. To the corner he sees Gai slamming a drink on the table and declaring something with a dazzling smile. Kakashi waves his hand and shrinks ever so slightly in his seat. He sees Ino nursing a drink, looking as if she is waiting for someone. He sees a lot but he does _not_ see Kiba. Holding back a curse, Shino steps back into the street.

His kikaichu thrum more lively now, excited to be so near to people, so near to chakra. He suppresses them again, trying to ignore the hunger that is beginning to drug his system. Right now there are more important things. Like finding Kiba.

He needs to find Kiba, for more reasons than a promise. Needs it more than he needs to sleep, to recharge, and to breathe air. And for reasons he's to afraid to examine or admit.

He however can't help the kind of hopeless and anxious feeling that beginning to settle and naw in his stomach, creating a hunger entirely separate of the bugs hording inside of him. Shino walks aimlessly, trying to think of the place he is missing. He wishes his kikaichu weren't so depleted and starving because he could have just easily sent them out to look for Kiba. However as the circumstances have shown he'll have to continue on foot.

As Shino walks all the possible scenarios play in his head and he finds his feet moving quicker, his eyes darting back and forth in search of any sign of a boy and perhaps his dog. All Shino can see is Pai lying on the floor twitching as Kiba's fangs lock onto his neck and his claws dig into his chest, attempting to rip his rib cage apart. Shino can smell the tangy iron; can hear the shriek of Pai's father and the growl of Akamaru. Hinata is crying and Shino in panic lets out 50 bugs too many, trying to subdue his best friend.

Without realizing it Shino finds himself at the park. He drags his feet across the sand and places his hand on the chains of the swing set. He can't think of where he is missing. In the distance he can see the light in Kiba's home on. Shino begins to walk in that direction. He doesn't really think Kiba will be there but if nothing else he can rest for a little while and perhaps one of the Inuzuka will have some clue as to where he is and if not they might lend him a dog.

When Shino approaches he immediately heads for the tree outside Kiba's door and makes a move to leap into it. The Inuzuka family has never been fond of doors and anyways he's sure they can smell him so its not as if he's sneaking in. His legs ache but Shino leaps and lands gracefully enough onto the tree limb.

Shino doesn't expect to see Kiba in his room. Doesn't expect to see him sweating and panting underneath and dark haired pale boy that looks very similar to Sai only, Shino can't really see his face but he's _sure_ it _is_ Sai. Sai's hand locks around Kiba's throat as he thrust furiously in and out. Kiba's nails traces red welting designs on Sai's back, moaning and cursing like a well paid whore.

Shino feels the bile rise, feels his blood boil and as he rushes into the bedroom, thrusting the windows open he feels something other than the tree limb, something inside of him…snap. Landing on his feet Shino stares at the two of them. Sai gazes blankly back at him, pulling away from Kiba in a calm manner. He grabs his pants and walks out as if he had just been sharing a snack with a old friend. Kiba smirks, languidly pulling up his boxer shorts and staring at Shino.

Shino's hands clench into a fist, his veins popping out, his kikaichu making a frenzied dance, pressing so sharply that they are visible underneath his skin. He tries to stare at some spot past Kiba as Kiba's smirk widens and hand's clutch at this crotch, rolling his hips in a lewd dance. Kiba keens and growls, throwing his head back a little, but never letting his eyes leave Shino's face. He flicks his tongue out, licking his canine teeth in some sort of anticipation.

It doesn't take long for Shino to realize two things. One of them being that this is _not _Kiba. This is some anti-Kiba some dark Kiba that has infested and taken over the boy formerly known as Kiba aka his best more than friend. The other thing being that for the first time in his life Shino Aburame is pissed. Not upset or annoyed or a little angry…but pissed, livid, incensed, furious. Shino is all but ready to draw blood.

"Kiba", his voice comes out strained, low and menacing. Shino faintly hears Kiba chuckle through his panting. "Why damn it." The chuckle grows into crackling laughter. "Cause" Kiba spreads his legs further apart, slipping his hand in and out of his boxers "I was _so_ wound up, had to _fuck_ something."

With that Shino feels any bit of restraint he has tried to maintain shatter. In one smooth step he is towering over Kiba, grabbing him and flipping him over, pressing his hard-on against Kiba's back. " You are nothing more than a whore." Kiba moans, pushes back against him. Slowly and roughly Shino begins to grind and winds his hand into Kiba's hair, pulling sharply until Kiba's ear is against his mouth. "This is what you want? To be, as you put it , _fucked_." Kiba makes a growling noise, licks his lips slowly, still kinda grinning, still keening and chuckling.

In his anger Shino's control over his kikaichu slips. They pour out of him, readily attaching themselves to Kiba's sizzling skin, loving the taste of his overcharged chakra. "Stupid worthless bitch." The words are tumbling out of Shino's mouth, angry and horrible and so…honest. "This is all your worth." It isn't a question but a statement, and with his hand that is not tugging Kiba's head he pulls Kiba's grey shorts down and digs his nails into the cheeks below him, watching the red crescents form.

"Damn, awful, lying, little slut." He slaps him twice. First on his butt then on his face. Kiba yelps and Shino feels satisfied. He does it again. And again and again. The kikaichu are beginning to leave burns on Kiba's skin and Kiba lays flat underneath him, barely able to move.

"This is what you want." It's a statement said in a voice that offers no room for argument. Kiba lazily nods his head, tears beginning to run down his face. Shino slaps him again, feels an extra sting from the wetness and then everything stops.

As if the simple drops of water on his hand have turned into an anchor, into a tide that is sailing him back home, bringing Shino back into himself. He can't do this. He doesn't _want _this. And he knows that by doing this he is letting anti-Kiba win. Proving to anti-Kiba that the dark lurking hatred is so all consuming that it doesn't just capture people like Sasuke and Kiba but it can get to even him.

Slowly Shino pulls back all the way to the end of the bed. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, willing the kikaichu back into himself. It's hard, they do not come back as easily as before, getting a taste of forbidden fruit after such a long period of hunger. They enter and it takes all of Shino's focus to not let their drunkenness invade him. Kiba pulls his shorts back up and there is silence.

Shino feels as if he should say something but what can he really say. An apology seems so cheap and inappropriate right now.

"Why are you so far away?" Kiba's voice is low and scratchy. Tired. Shino shrugs his shoulders, runs a hand through his hair and sighs…again. "Look Kiba, I'm sorry. I'm more than sorry." Kiba nods and picks at a piece of flint on the bed.

"Ah, this changes everything doesn't it." Shino looks at the wall, doesn't say anything. It's a statement that is true enough it doesn't need his affirmation. " I mean Shino what…" Kiba stops and Shino looks down at his hands, creamy and scarred.

"I was angry." Kiba shifts, pulling his legs against his chest. "Oh?" Finally Shino turns and faces him, he feels his anger resurfacing. "Kiba, you were having intercourse with Sai." Kiba shrugged.

"Yeah and? It's not as if we are _together_ or anything." The last few words are said spitefully and Shino raises a sharp eyebrow. "I suppose I was under the impression that despite the lack of a label this meant more than that to you." Kiba rolls his eyes, chuckling darkly. "This is so like you. Don't fucking turn this on me you shit. I'm always the one putting myself out there. Always the one making the first move, taking the risk. You don't even fucking know what its like to search for something in the goddamn dark."

Shino stands, staring at Kiba. "Kiba that is the most untruthful…"

"No it is the truth. It's the only truth you asshole. Its always been me. Always been me trying to figure out what the hell is going on in that shell of yours. I try so damn hard and then all I get is a shrug…if that. "

Shino sighs again, trying to reign his anger back in. " And who has been the one being hurt. Who has been the one watching the other sleep around and date other people. Who has been the one carrying the other home because they are to drunk to walk?"

Kiba stares angrily, Shino continues. "Say what you want Kiba but this right now is _your_ fault. My feelings for you, while not a neon sign, have been here. You can look at me, and see that they are _here_."

Kiba stands. "No Shino they aren't just there. You don't even _understand_ what I have done for you. I have all but bled my soul through my mouth for you. And then the only thing I get from you is what you _say_ to me Shino. That's it."

By now they are both yelling and Shino is sure the neighbors and whole compound can hear them. "You are selfish Kiba. How do you expect me to put myself out there when you can't even decide what you want more?"

"Like motherfucking hell Shino. What I need is obvious to everyone. Its obvious to my ma and sister, to Naruto, to even fucking Sasuke. No matter who I suck or fuck or do whatever the hell with it's always you Shino. I love you, you stupid shit and everyone else can see that but you."

Shino removes his glasses and stares deeply at Kiba. Kiba takes a deep breath, lowering his voice above a whisper.

"Maybe if you ever took the time to _look_. If you ever took the time to _see _me you'd know."

Shino nods and rubs at his shoulders. "Kiba I always see you."

Kiba laughs. He's tired and suddenly he's not even sure what they are arguing about. And he's not sure whether or not this is Shino saying I love you. But he is sure that any person who can see him at his worst like that and still be standing here but be worth all of this.

And suddenly who said what or did what or hurt who doesn't really matter because Shino _is_ here. He is here and looking at him and in Shino's murky eyes all Kiba can see is himself bathed in a amber fluid.

"I want us to be ok."

Shino nods in silent agreement. There is a silence as Kiba gives Shino time to formulate his next sentence. "I'm not sure... what I want but I know that whatever it is... would be better with you."

Its not really a heart renching confession of love the way Kiba pictured it. But its something, a lot more than he's ever gotten in between the sheets of everyone else, a lot more than Shino's ever gotten from inside the cocoon in which he hides himself in.

"Alright." Kiba smiles. Shino offers a little smile and leans in to give Kiba a small hug. Reflexively Kiba holds on longer and they stand there. A little sweaty, a little achy, a little awkward and they hold each other.

It feels good.

_--Can we climb this mountain_

_I don't know_

_Higher now than ever before_

_I know we can make it_

_If we take it slow—The Killers_


	20. Confide

A/N: Umm so its been a serious while!! I'm sorry i have crazy school work and I couldn't figure out what part of the plot needed to happen first after the last chapter, i settled on this. It was the only place for this to happen and its necessary...ehh this chapter is a lot less umm action filled but I'll make it up some way down the road. I love you ALL!! read/review )

--_These precious things_

_Let them bleed_

_Let them wash away_

_These precious things_

_Let them break their hold over me_

_He said you're a really ugly girl_

_But I like the way you play_

_And I died_

_But I thanked him_

_Can you believe that_

_Sick sick_

_Holding on to his picture—Tori Amos_

Since he was 4, Kiba's favorite part of his property has always been the guest house balcony. Its far enough away that his mom won't look for him there but close enough that he can get back home if there is ever any trouble.

And its peaceful. Shockingly enough even Kiba needs peace sometimes. He stares quietly, resting his bruised elbows on the smooth cherry wood rail. It's not as hot today as it has been for the past month. Probably due to the breeze that is gently, although infrequently, blowing through. In his view, Akamaru chases a dragonfly, bounding and prancing through the too tall grass.

He sighs, it does need to be cut. Kiba shifts his weight off his right leg and onto his left, feeling the burn from his training no to long ago.

"Training…chh" he sucks his teeth. He's not even sure _why_ he trains so hard. It feels like he's running in quick sand, like no matter what he does everyone else is always 5 steps ahead of him.

It's maddening. Kiba could train more than Lee and still be a true, honest to lord…dead last.

Lately he's beginning to feel like more of a burden than an asset. He's not sure if it's because Hinata had to save his ass last mission or if it's simply because he's never been a fan of this time of year.



A cloud shifts over the sky, dropping the temperature by view degrees. Taking his eyes off of Akamaru, Kiba stares up at the sky.

Its so strange. He feels so removed lately. Like yesterday at lunch at Neji's, he felt like a stranger. It was as if he had to _pretend _to be Kiba. Hell, even arguing with Chougi felt so…fake. Last night also happened to be the first night he had to fake an orgasm, which by the way is difficult for a guy. It wasn't as if Shikamaru was any worse than before…he just wasn't in it.

Kiba sighs, shakes his head and rubs his reddened elbows. He feels it, like some big, all consuming, ominous, looming darkness creeping in. Something in his life is getting closer and closer to giving in.

And it scares him. This loneliness, this helplessness, this doubt and self-pity. He hasn't felt this way since…well since a while ago. This isn't the attitude fit for the next clan head. If any of the other Inuzukas saw their next alpha like this…Kiba shudders. It wouldn't end up good.

To his right Kiba feels as low heat emit and smells that small tint of comfort. He doesn't have to look t know its… "Shino, hey." His voice is kinda raspy and he blames it on the fact that he hasn't spoken in a while.

"Kiba." Shino stares forward, frowning at Akamaru who is spitting out a transparent dragonfly wing. "Shino", he smiles, it strains his face, aches a little. "What's wrong with you?" Kiba chuckles a little, Shino is kinda blunt but Kiba likes him this way.

Instead of answering he shrugs. Shino doesn't say anything. There is silence for a while, thoughtful silence. Kiba is still staring at the sky, searching for those hints of blue underneath the thick white.

He can feel Shino's heavy gaze on him. "Kiba." Shino turns, pulling on Kiba by his elbow to get Kiba to face him. Kiba winces but moves anyway.

Shino raises questioning eyebrow. "Training." He nods. "Kiba…" Shino is using _the_ voice. Kiba _knows _this voice, this I'm searching for the right thing to say voice. "We…I am worried for you. You _know_….you can always talk to me…I can….will listen."

Kiba blinks, taken back by Shino's words and by his pathetic reflection staring back at him through the tint of Shino's sunglasses. Kiba knows it must have been hard for Shino to do this. He can just see him sitting up all night and day thinking of whether or not he should say anything. Kiba knows that this _must_ have been really hard especially since their last real interaction. Shino is putting himself _way_ out there.

Kiba turns away, rests his elbows back on the rail and looks back up at the sky. He breathes in deeply, making his decision. "Did you know I'm gonna be clan head someday?" Shino nods in affirmation, stares in silent waiting.



"Since the day I was born, ya know. Said I was the best bred Inuzuka in a very long time." Akamaru barks, frightened by the warning buzz of a bee. "My father…" Shino moves closer, its getting harder to hear Kiba over the wind. "My father always resented that Ma was chosen as clan head. He…_hated _me."

Kiba shuts his eyes for a moment, a flash of a face he has tried so hard to forget emerges. Blondish red hair and a cruel handsome grin. "He always used to argue with Ma about me. And Ma would take my side then he'd get more mad, say how the hell was I ever gonna be an Inuzuka if Ma kept babying me."

Shino moves even closer, his elbows touch Kiba's briefly. "When I was 3 he started beating me. First just like regular ya know. But then it got really bad. Once he choked me with a collar made me run around on my knees against the gravel by the pound. He treated me like I was a failure, he told me I was _worthless_."

Shino wants to say something, anything but he knows if he interrupts Kiba probably won't start again.

"Anyway, the sick thing is that despite all of that I _never_ hated my Pa. I wanted so bad to make him happy. But then sometime when I was 7 around this week Ma caught him. Beating me with this rod we use for the dogs. She was so mad, it was the first time I had ever saw my Ma cry. I don't really remember what happened, I was so tired. Then the next day he was gone." To the north a birds caws, sharp and piercing.

Kiba chuckles darkly "How pathetic, I can't even remember the exact day of when eh left. But after that for a rally long time Hana hated me and I…" Shino can't hold back his small gasp of surprise. Kiba nods" yeah, she blamed me, thought that if I had never been born things woulda been different with Ma and Pa. She probably still thinks it."

Kiba pauses, holding his hand out towards the sky, spreading his fingers. "That's illogical though. You _know_ that right Kiba?" Kiba shrugs, moves his finger together and separates them again. "I dunno. I'm starting to feel like I really am the worthless cocksucker he said I was."

The clouds shift, the sun begins to shine through. Kiba watches as the rays spill through his hands. He pulls his hand closer to his face, pushes it out and then rests it back on the rail. "Kiba" Shino moves his hand to cover Kiba's. "I'm not sure how much this will mean but to me—you mean more than many things I have in this life and I know you will become a great leader…when the time comes."

Kiba doesn't say anything. He just keeps his face staring upwards, directly into the sun, trying his hardest not to squint. "Its strange, how different the sun looks when you finally _see_ it."



Shino nods skeptically, glances upward "It looks very much the same with sunglasses." Kiba nods in silent agreement. "Yeah? Probably. It feels so…weird. But good." Shino turns and looks at Kiba watching as droplets travel down his cheeks.

He pulls Kiba closer, resting Kiba's head on his shoulders and squeezes his hand a little harder. Kiba just blinks back one tear after the next—as if they aren't even there at all.

--_When I'm on will you rescue me?_

_I watch that telethon_

_Got hung up on a word, can't get over it, solider_

_When she says nothing is enough, she doesn't mean don't try to fix it—Emily Haines_


	21. Waiting

A/N: Ok so this might be a long author's note hehe. There is a Dane cook inspiration inside of this story, find it and perhaps I'll write you a drabble? This was probably one of the hardest chapters for me to write. Its strange when I first started this series it had nothing to do with Kiba and Shino hence why the first chapter is kind of stand alone ish. Then I was like well I just write some unrelated drabbles as they come. And somewhere along the line the chapters got longer and started connecting….funny way things work. Pfft I mean the idea of writing Shino terrified me (still kind of does). Heck even Kiba. Also, I know that there is always this sort of background village stuff happening. I can't really explain that, but Shino and Kiba don't live in a world to themselves so I guess the next thing I knew, Sasuke and company joined in. Deal with it. After this chapter expect a lot of Shino/Kiba love….expect maybe some not so explicit touching. Who know. Love you all…read and review.

_--Cursed with a love you can't express_

_It's not for a fuck, or a kiss_

_Rather give the world away_

_Than wake up lonely_

_Everywhere and in every way_

_I see you with me—Emily Haines_

Things have been quieter lately. Not necessarily more peaceful, just quieter. Naruto and Sasuke went on a training mission together. Shikamaru was sent on a diplomacy meeting. And actually…other than Shino, Kiba, and Sakura, everyone else was gone doing something.

That however, is not why Shino thinks it's so quite lately. Sighing, Shino continues to ruffle through the basket of books, glancing then piling them to the side. The echo of each book rings through him.

Three days ago, Tuesday to be exact, Kiba became sick. At first everyone believed it was just a cold but soon Sakura found it was a better to be left un-named infection. Even though she didn't say it, it was more than implied what _kind_ of infection and just where Kiba got it from.

Shino growls lightly, feels a little anger build up and tosses a book none to gently at the pile. They tumble and Shino takes a relaxing breath, releases some kikaichu to fix the pile.



He doesn't really have the _right_ to be angry. Kiba was correct when he said that technically speaking (actually really), they aren't together, they aren't in a relationship. So logically, Shino can't expect Kiba to be faithful.

That is _not_ what upsets him. Its more of the concept that If Kiba spent _half_ the energy on their 'non-relationship' as he did his nightly lays, they'd be _soul mates_ by now. Perhaps _that_ is the problem. Maybe Kiba is waiting for Shino to give him a reason to be faithful in the same way Shino is waiting for Kiba to become the reason he finally opens himself up.

Shino remembers the story his mother used to tell him when he was still a child and she was still around.

Two brothers receive a letter telling them that someone they've been waiting for will arrive at a the white house on grey street at 11:45. The two brothers arrive separately. One enters because the house seems empty and it is cold. When the other comes he stands at the opposite side of the door. Both are anxious, they feel as if they have been waiting for so long to meet this important person.

One is waiting for a knock. The other is waiting for the door to open. Years pass and they both begin to age yet they still stand in waiting. Then the outside brother's knee gives out making him fall against the door. In excitement the other brother uses all of the strength he has left in his frail arms and yanks the door open, grabbing hold of his brother's body.

"Oh my brother, I have been waiting for you." The other brother stares at a face that looks so much like his own "But brother I was right there on the other side of the door." Tears filled his eyes and the brother finally lays his brother down and rests beside him, taking shallow breaths. "So you mean…" they both begin "all this time I waited.."…and they never finished.

When he was a child, Shino _hated_ that story. Where was this grey street, why didn't they have peepholes, why didn't he try knocking or looking in, didn't they have to eat or go to the bathroom, who can stand in one place forever, how did they know that they were each others important person, who sent that letter, why didn't that person do something? His mother had told him this story out of fear that he would grow up too much of an Aburame. Now, 14 years later, he feels like that fear may have been justified.

Shino catches a glimmer of faded red with in the basket and pulls. Sitting in his hand is a chipped, old, paper magazine. Shino pockets the book and then lifts the other books from the pile back into the basket.

Straightening his jacket, he makes his way toward Kiba's house. As Shino walks he keeps his hand and book in his pocket, feeling the rough texture, thumbing the crinkles pages of a book that was probably once left in the rain or dropped in a tub. He can almost see the eager face of a young boy leering with a flashlight at the pages.



He can also feel the rapid fluttering of his heart as he gets closer and closer to Kiba's house. It is an undeniable fact that Shino is nervous, but if anyone ever asked he would surely try to deny it.

He can't really pretend anymore that he doesn't know why he's nervous. He can't say to himself 'its just nervous Friday' or 'its just that mission on that one day in some vague distant time in the future.' No, Shino knows the fluttering _is_ Kiba.

The small and ever growing part of Kiba that is pushing its way to the surface, assimilating everything it touches.

So he's not really sure how this visit will go. Things have been tense at best since the Sai incident. Shino thought that last time they had made strides forward, but lately he has been doubting his social awareness, so he can't really be that sure.

Like, since when did Sasuke and Neji hang out and furthermore since when did Sasuke and _Kiba _talk—ever? Or why does Neji look so uncomfortable with Hinata lately and what _is _going on with that limp of his?

Shino is sure if he were more like Naruto he'd understand these things, but since he's not he'll have to resign himself to being a little out of touch.

As Shino arrives in front of Kiba's house he feels his stomach drop. The last time he was here didn't go so well. Taking a deep breath he glides to the backyard and up the tree.

Glancing in he's sees Kiba bundled in three layers of sheets, poufy eyed, chapped lips, and obviously achy. The word _cute_ edges out and Shino smothers it quickly.

Kiba turns and stares at he spot Shino is perched on, cocking his head in question. Shino waves, pushing himself through Kiba's window.

Kiba moves up so that his back is against the wall and smiles weakly "Hey Shino, my only visitor." Shino nods, holds the book a little tighter "Everyone is gone." Kiba looks up shocked. Shino clarifies "On missions or something to that effect." Kiba laughs and winces "Oh man, for a second I thought it was like mass abductions or that you had finally went fucking postal and slaughtered everyone."

"Hmm? I believe that is more Uchiha's style."Kiba gapes and laughs full heartedly "Oh man, Shino. So wrong yet funny. And true. Which is why it's so damn funny." Kiba wipes at a tear, Shino feels some of the tension in his shoulders alleviate.

"How are you feeling now?" Kiba shrugs "Well the infection is done with but it fucking shot my immuninity system, so shit ya know." Shino arches his eyebrow "You mean immune system?"

Kiba coughs uncomfortably "Sooo, uh, what brings you here?" A thousand responses run through Shino's head but then he remembers his mother's tale and answers "I thought you might 

need company." It is a partial truth; it's not as if Shino _liked _that story to start with anyway. Kiba smiles "Well, well aren't you just suddenly so thoughtful."

Shino nods and walks closer to the bed. Swiftly he pulls the faded comic book out of his pocket and places it into Kiba's hand.

"Whats…" Kiba looks down and his eyes widen. "I remember once, when we were kids and I hated you. You used to carry that book around all the time and read it when you thought no one was watching. But I always was."

Kiba nods dumbly, staring in amazement at this favorite comic. "Where did you even _find _this?" Shino runs a hand through his hair "Remember how we all had put stuff that we no longer would have use for in baskets? They were all separated and stored on that plot of land the Hyuuga's used to own. I just went there and looked."

Kiba nods again. "You _just_…how can you _say _something like that as if it was some everyday thing? This is the nicest thing anyone has _ever_…there aren't even _words_." In a flash Kiba jumps forward and pulls Shino toward him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

Kiba moves to pull away but Shino, on an impulse, holds him there and begins to trail his fingers down Kiba's back. Gently applying pressure to spots of tension. "I just wanted to do something good for you. It was the only thing I could think of." Kiba leans back, pulling Shino to lay with him, reveling in the way Shino kneads his scalp. "Mm, you did good."

"I want to show you Kiba, that I can be enough for you." Kiba shifts so that he can look at Shino's face. "What do you mean?"

"I want to be _with _you. I want to be enough so that you can just be with me." Kiba sighs "Oh." Shino feels his stomach drop and bile curl, stupid lying fairy tales. He resists the urge to bolt but begins to try to untangle himself form Kiba.

Kiba tightens his hold smiling a crookedly.

"Well you _are_ enough Shino. All you really had to do was tell me that you were ready."

The curling stops, now replaces with an intense fluttering that overwhelms and wrecks through Shino's body. "I am ready. I'm ready. I'm ready." He says sit over and over like a mantra speaking as much to Kiba as he is to himself.

Finally Kiba pulls his mouth to his, slipping his tongue in and kissing him softly, languidly, as if they have all the time in the world.

Shino pulls away, removes his glasses and leans in to kiss Kiba again. It feels so different than before—more permanent.



It crosses Shino's mind, those last words… "all this time I waited"…but Kiba was worth the wait. Was _more _than worth the wait and probably always will be.

_--I know she knows_

_I'm not fond of asking_

_True or false it maybe_

_She's still out to get me_

_Just don't let me down_

_Just don't let me down_

_And hold on to this kite—The Kooks_


	22. Bored

A/N: Sorry this took so long. Its been written but finals were coming up. Anyway enjoy, review and I shall be more motivated to update through summer !! Beware of cheesy Kiba jokes.

_--Into a place where thoughts can bloom_

_Into a room where its nine in the afternoon_

_And we know that it could be_

_And we know that it should _

_And you know that you feel it too—Panic! At the Disco_

Today has turned out to be overwhelmingly boring. Kiba grumbled lightly, shifting under the oppressing heat. Correction today has had to be the boringest day of Kiba's _life_. He furrows his eyebrows; perhaps it's more boring—who knows.

Kiba jumps up, shaking his hair form side to side, pushing back the strands that cling to his skin. On the floor Akamaru pants heavily, lying on his back. Kiba shakes his head "I know boy, but the mud outside is probably all dried up. You just need a fucking hair cut." Kiba threads his fingers through Akamaru's growing mane.

"Dang, Hana will definitely need to do that huh?" Akamaru whine pathetically. Kiba pulls his hand back, strips his tank top off. He walks over to the phone and dials Shino's number.

"Aburame household." Kiba blinks, he's still not used to the whole servant thing. "Uhh, Shino. Shino please." There is a pause and he wonders id he said the wrong thing. Lord knows his etiquette sucks. "Yes master?"

Kiba doesn't answer until he belatedly realizes that was a question directed to him. "Inuzuka Kiba." Another pause and he could have imagined it but perhaps a sigh of exhaustion. "Yes, one moment please."

Another pause and he hears a rustle in the background. "Hello Kiba." Kiba smiles broadly and pulls the phone closer to his face. "Shino!!" He hears a slight chuckle "Yes Kiba?"

"What are you up to?" Shino sighs in a very uncharacteristic way, "Nothing actually. I had thought to go observe the newly imported bugs but now…it's too hot." Kiba understands Shino's pain, he nods even though Shino can't see him. "Well…do you maybe wanna come over?"

There is a pause, a thoughtful one. "What are you engaged in?" Kiba rolls his eyes "I'm not _engaged_ in anything bugboy."

"Then why would I come over?" Kiba growls in irritation, its too hot for Shino's social unawareness. "The hell? _Because_ bugfreak, people _do_ that. Hang out you know."

Another pause and Kiba can mentally see Shino weighing out his options. "I suppose being bored together maybe more satisfactory and less boring than being here."

It's a yes, although a mocking one and Kiba has to hold his tongue not to make a slick retort.

"Alright, just come through the back door, I'm downstairs so…" He hears a shuffle, "So I'll be there soon." And then a dial tone.

Kiba hangs up and scoffs lightly. You'd think someone form such a distinguished family would have the decency to at least say goodbye. "Frickin bug eyed jerk."

Akamaru whines and lolls his head. Kiba glares at him "So what if I like him? Doesn't change the fact that he's a…"

"I'm a what?" Kiba jumps back, "The fuck Shino. Buzz or something, don't sneak up on me like that."

Shino stares blankly. "I do not sneak, you are a _ninja _Kiba. A tracking ninja." He lets the statement hand in the air, Kiba glares "Yeah well so…" Shino smirks "So you kind of like me hm?"

Kiba rolls his eyes. "Yeah ok _Sasuke_." Shino eyes widen and settle in a disapproving stare. IT is a little known fact that Shino isn't extremely fond of Sasuke and never has been.

A even lesser known fact is that this disliking does not stem from Sasuke's defection. Or for how he hurt Naruto and many of the young ninjas in the village and then was accepted back with a slap on the wrist.

No it was because of Sasuke's personality. Or some other thing in which Shino had described as soulless and self-serving since the moment they met around age 7. Kiba isn't really sure what the deal with that is, he tries not to pry to much.

Shino shrugs "The Uchiha says these things out of conceit. I say them from knowledge." Kiba laughs. Its nice seeing this side of Shino, being able to joke like this.

Its still taking some time to used to this whole openly liking each other thing. Honestly it's a bit awkward. Despite the amount of sex Kiba has had, he is a virgin to _this_ and knows Shino isn't much better.

"What are we going to do?" Shino's deep voice breaks Kiba out of his thoughts. Kiba scratches behind his neck. He hadn't really thought of that. Usually when he's alone with someone he just has sex. But its to hot and he doesn't think Shino would respond well to: 'wanna fuck?'

Kiba runs his hands over his stomach, resting his hand at the band of his boxers. He smirks as he catches Shino's eyes traveling and following his hand. "I dunno, want some lemonade?" Shino head snaps back up and he nods a little too eagerly, following Kiba to the kitchen.

Akamaru barks in need. Kiba stops and turns to look at Shino, taking in his loose grey shirt and thin material pants, he licks his chapped lips. "Hey, grab some water for Maru please?" Shino nods and goes to the coroner of the living room to get one of the water jugs.

When he walks in the kitchen Kiba has already poured the drinks into cups. He passes the cup over the Shino.

Kiba takes a large gulp, watching Shino's face carefully as he gently sips his drink. "Thank you." Kiba wipes at his mouth and grins cheekily "no problem. I'm usually better at heating things up though." He winks, again watching carefully.

Shino looks up and stares back. "Mm, I'll keep that in mind." Without missing a beat he continues "what are we doing once the drinks are finished?"

Kiba takes the last final gulp and shrugs again. "Wanna go back to the living room?" Kiba brings to leave the kitchen and Shino follow him but not with an exasperated eye roll.

The two sit on separate couches. Shino idly rubs at Akamaru's bare belly. Kiba make a face "you don't pet me asswipe." Shino sighs and chooses not to respond; instead he throws a red ball in Kiba's direction.

Kiba reacts quickly and grabs the ball, throws it back. They both continue idly throwing the ball back and forth as Akamaru watches in pining, wishing t wasn't so hot.

As they toss the ball Kiba finds this all kind of odd. He's not really sure how the whole relationship thing works but he thinks this isn't the _boyfriend _thing to do. Boyfriend…that's gonna take time to get used to.

Its strange how it seemed to take them nearly hating each other to admit they love or at least care for each other to then finally be able to just act like regular friends.

Shino tosses the ball and Kiba, lost in thought, reacts too slowly. The ball hits him square in the face.

Kiba shakes his head and rubs at his nose. Shino looks smug and more than amused "You were thinking?"

Shino sounds surprised and Kiba can't tell if he really _is_ or if he's faking it. Either way its mean and Kiba wrinkles his nose. "Yeah, it happens from time to time."

Shino shifts and the air fills with something. Kiba itches at a pale spot on the underside of his knee. "Come here." It's a ruff command but Shino pats the spot beside him gently.

This is another one of the things that Kiba worries about. Its so hard for him to read Shino. Hard to get past the shell and decipher him. Hard to tell if eh should pay attention to what he says or what he does. Hard to tell how much of difference the two make.

Kiba moves lethargically and takes his place beside Shino, timidly resting his head on Shino's knee. "What are you thinking about?" Kiba kinda sighs, shifts again. "I dunno. Nothing I guess."

Shino doesn't say anything back and instead sits quietly. His hands hang down loosely, looking a little misplaced. Kiba shifts again. "Your so stiff Shino." Shino releases a small breath and relaxes marginally, his hands stray to Kiba's hair and back.

He lets his hand rake softly across Kiba's hair and skin. Kiba chuckles "Shino man, are you _petting_ me?" Shino's face colors but Kiba can't see at the angle he is at and Shino is more than grateful.

He quickly draws his hand back "I wasn't. But if I recall you were the one who was jealous of his dog." An awkard silence passes and Kiba turns so that he is look at the ceiling, taking in 

glances of Shino's face. Kiba clears his throat "Well I never said stop. Just asking a simple question."

Shino raises and eyebrow and places his hands unsurely on Kiba's hair and stomach. Kiba rolls his eyes, "That meant start again…it felt good."

Kiba averts his eyes and resists the urge to hit himself in the face. This is still _so_ awkward. Despite kissing and confessions, _this_ is still…not coming as easy as Kiba thought it would. This is hard. Harder than any sex or missions or any of the other things in Kiba's life that he has just realized have come so easy.

Shino moves his hands again, a little more confident but still softly. Kiba continues to stare at the ceiling, wishing Shino would be more forceful but still happy he's even getting this. "Shino, is there something you wanna do?" As comfortable as Kiba is getting he still hasn't forgotten that Shino came here in order to not be bored—to _do_ something. But damn, it does feel nice having Shino touch him like this.

Shino's hands pause and Kiba holds back a growl. They start again. "I think that this will be fine."

Kiba holds back a gasp and tries not to choke on his spit. He instead settles for hiding behind a wolfish smile. He wasn't really expecting that answer from Shino.

But Shino is right, this _is_ fine. This, them together. Its fine. It works. Just them, awkwardness, sharp edges and all. Its _good_. Kiba settles a little more into Shino's fingers, allowing himself little groans of appreciation.

This is defiantly nice. Better than nice. Maybe not wild dirty sex but still—good. Kiba thinks that maybe he's been over thinking this whole thing. Maybe he can learn to do this.

_--If the world should stop revolving_

_Spinning slowly to die_

_I spend the end with you_

_And when the world was through_

_Then one by one the stars would all go out_

_And you and I would simply fly away—Tori Amos_


	23. Storm

A/N: So long time overdue. Someone asked me for man sex. Before you get all excited it didn't happen. However, you'd be surprised how just reaching 2nd base can sound like Oh so much more with the right wording. Anyway this it to tide some people over. Also I shall be starting a side series that involves Neji and Sasuke for my mentor and friend Indigo's Ocean. It should be up soon, maybe next chapter soon. It will follow the same time line as between us except starting a little earlier…like Sasuke coming back. This may seem like PWP at first but I promise there is a point. Read and Review.

_--You know it will_

_Always just be me_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster_

_Faster_

_So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_Will you dance to this beat_

_And hold a lover close?—Panic! At The Disco_

Shino feels hot, sweaty, oppressed. The sound of his heartbeat thunders loudly in his ears. "Shino, Shino, Shino…" Kiba is crooning asking for something and all Shino can feel is the tight grip squeezing his arms.

He shuts his eyes.

"Uun, Shin—O." the sound is closer now. Louder. Piercing through the thunder inside like lightning. Shino gasps open his mouth and makes an "O" as he feels Kiba's hands pull down the zipper to his jacket.

He can feel the slow click, click on his shirt and gasps. Kiba grins.

He moves, shifting so that he is fully on top of Shino. He places his hands carefully on the sides of Shino's head, leaning down until his mouth is hot and wet, panting on Shino's ear.

"What was it, that thing you were telling me?"

Kiba's voice is low and sensual and Shino's eyes flutter with his heartbeat. The thing? The thing? Shino wracks his brain, trying to think of what they were talking about. "Oh, the plant."

Kiba nods, paying more attention to pulling Shino's jacket off. "Mmhmm, the plant."

"It…it…ma—ke—SS" Its hard to focus with Kiba's hands roaming his chest through his shirt, finger tips barely touching his collar bone and arms.

There is a heavy breathing in the room and Shino vaguely wonders where its coming from.

"Mmmhmm, yeah the plant. Come on Shino. _Tell _me." It's a low, throaty groan and Shino has never felt so _hot_ in his whole life.

"It well it secretes…oh" Shino bites his lip, tastes copper as Kiba strokes his face with his fingers and lips. Dragging them across his cheek, fingers pressing against Shino's lips, moving up to remove his glasses.

"Yeah, keep going." Shino blinks and is shocked to see Kiba's face this close, his brown eyes holding an expression Shino can't place but then again its hard to think with Kiba's forehead pressing against his, noses almost touching.



"It secrets a mucous that, that." Kiba is nuzzling his face, giving long Eskimo kisses, one hand placed on Shino's beating heart.

Shino wraps his hand around that hand, arching slightly against the one inching his shirt up.

He shuts his eyes again. Inhales deeply. It's a mistake as it only leaves him breathing in more of Kiba.

"Shino please. Shino, Shino, Shino…" again, over and over weaving a spell in a voice Shino can't deny and then—his eyes open. Kiba lets out a little breathy moan as their eyes lock and moves both his hands to Shino's face.

He licks him. First on his right cheek bone, going slowly down to Shino's jaw, pausing only at the corner of his mouth.

Shino grasps the sheets beneath him, eyes open wide, dazed and staring at the fan.

Kiba licks again, this time lower, going to Shino's neck. "You were saying?" His tone is playful but Shino is so wrapped up in everything he can't even bother being ashamed or upset.

"Something for oversensitive…ah" Kiba begins to add suction and more spit. Lapping and sucking, throwing Shino into a world of feeling.

"MM, like that?" Shino gasps lowly but doesn't say anything else and instead moves his hands to scratch lightly at Kiba's back

This shouldn't be affecting him like this. Although not thoroughly experienced, Shino is defiantly not a blushing virgin. Heck, its not as if he and Kiba hadn't _touched_ before.

But this is different. So intense…just oh…_shit_. Kiba is adding teeth, grazing his neck, even biting his lips.

No one has ever…damn…_ever_ exploited the Aburame's sensitive skin like this. The kikaichu act as extra nerve endings, heightening all sensations. Its why many of the clan wore extra layers of clothes. Although being able to detect even the slightest change in atmosphere was helpful during survival modes, it was a hindrance for everyday life.

Except with Kiba.

Kiba's hands are rough; the texture only adds to the overload Shino feels. He pushes Shino's shirt up, up, up watching as cream abs come into view.

Kiba inhales, exhales. "Damn Shino."

Kiba has never seen Shino in less than a shirt before and Shino opens his mouth to protest. "Kiba…" but then nails dig into his sides and rake up and down torturously. "_Kiba_." It sounds more pleading than outraged.

His shirt is going up, up, up until somehow he moves his arms to allow Kiba to remove it completely. Kiba licks his lips, taking in everything from the toned pecks to the smooth abs, thing scars, small bores that are barely visible, brown nipples. "Oh" he leans close to Shino, pressing their bare chests together, lips back on his ear.

When _did_ Kiba's shirt come off? "Fucking hell Shino, you're gonna drive me crazy."

Kiba slides. Their abdomens, slick, move against each other. Shino groans. _Shit._

Kiba grins again, taking an earlobe deep into his mouth, nibbling between his teeth. "Oh...oh" Shino grabs Kiba tighter, resisting the urge to buck his hips.

"Yeah I know." Kiba says as if Shino has made a full sentence. "Come on Shino, tell me."

That's right, Shino keeps forgetting about that plant. "It helps to treat…mm…that good god…rash and no creamy has to be…so hot."

Kiba moves his head down further and further, licking and nipping everywhere. Pausing at a nipple, flicking it lightly. Shino shudders.



His body feels like a furnace. Like a brush fire. Burning from the inside. Overcharged and electric. Sizzling. His kikaichu are rattling inside of him, pressing closer to his skin, wanting more, more…

"More."

Shino feels Kiba grin against his stomach as his tongue licks the crevices of defined abs.

He moves back up.

Kiba changes their position so that he straddles one of Shino's legs.

They're face to face again and all Shino can feel is Kiba's breath against his until Kiba brings their mouths together.

Its sloppy and wet and oh so good. Shino feels Kiba move up and down, back and forth on his legs; hips mimicking his tongue.

His hands begin to scratch tails on Shino's stomach and Shino feels like…

"Fuck" Shino can't tell who said it. But Kiba is grinding harder as Shino tugs not to gently on his hair. "Fuck Shino."

Shino nods, focusing on the feel of Kiba's hair on his fingertips and hips on his knee. He licks his lips, closing his eyes again. Damn.

"_Shino_." Kiba's voice sounds urgent but its hard to hear over the constant, murmuring chant of "Kiba, Kiba, Kiba, Kiba" that Shino can't tell if he's thinking or whispering.

"_Come On_, Shino" he can feel it. Kiba's face against his, Kiba's voice trying to push him closer and closer.

Kiba leans his head down, hips swiveling in circles. "Shino damn you don't know how badly I wanna…" he thrusts long and hard "fuck the holy living shit out of you. I wanna let that cock slip in and out of my mouth."

Shino's hands tighten on Kiba's hair. Kiba gasps. " Get it all nice and fucking wet for you."

Its louder now, that chanting. "Kiba, Kiba, Kiba. God Kiba."

Kiba licks his ear and his hips slide up and down, his head moving to Shino's shoulder—licking.

"Yeah I know. You don't know how hot you are. Moaning all quietly like that. Making me feel like fucking _God_. Damn. Gonna let you fuck my hole sooo good."

"_Kiba. Shit_." Kiba bites…hard. Letting his mouth fill with blood and even a few kikaichu. His nails pierce into Shino's hips and Shino throws his head back then from side to side.

After what was more than likely 30 seconds but felt like an hour Shino settles down. Breath coming out a little slower. The thunder not as loud.

Kiba brings his face back in front of Shino's. Sill humping, this time faster.

Shino moves his knee up and down.

They stare at each other until Kiba finally shuts his eyes and groans. It jolts Shino like electricity.

Shino lays there as Kiba rolls off of him and lies panting beside him.

He wants so much to say…something…that thing. The thing Kiba was really asking for. Searching for.

Kiba's hand reaches to hold his and Shino flinches. He feels a little dirty. A little sick.

"I need a shower."

Kiba stares at him, some unreadable expression flitters past his face. He points to the bathroom door.

Shino moves sluggishly. Slamming the door and gripping the edge of the sink. He stares in the mirror and is surprised. He doesn't look as disheveled or _changed_ as the cliché claims people do.

Shino takes his left hand and touched the bite mark Kiba left on his shoulder.

He feels it.



A liquid feeling pouring inside, threatening to flow out saying " I love you, I love you." Over and over again.

Shino shuts his eyes—it feels like rain.

_--I know his lips_

_Are warm_

_But I can't seem _

_To find my way_

_My way out—Tori Amos_


	24. Drabble: Authors Note

A/N: This is a filler because ff is weird and the removal of the 1st chapter has disallowed people to review. Thanks to earth bender for pointing this out.

Uhh because of the inconvience I give a small drabble….8 sentences of Kiba/Shino

--The little things you do to me are

Taking me over

I wanna show you—Colbie Callie

You kiss him nice and slow, never rushing or passion filled--it's always gentle, like dancing. Its always something that's so not you, so not Kiba. For the first time its not about you…its him. Him and nothing else, he fills you up and spills out of you. It makes you nervous and you loose your composure in a way that's earth shattering, red light district worthy orgasms don't. You kinda hate it, hate how you're not sure he feels the same way. You hate how he can be running when he's right next to you and how no matter how much you chase and follow you can never catch him. But you love how no matter what he always, always comes back—so you kiss him slowly, nice, and sweetly and in your own confused way say thank you.


	25. Avoidance

A/N: Oh man how long overdue is this. Sorry I was gone end of summer than school started and I had to get adjusted. Plus my writing went through a crappy phase so I had to like overhaul as in throw out and redo this chapter. If it sucks still….I'm sorry. Um this one is a bit longer as an I'm sorry and uhh it will either make you very happy or upset sooo hehe be prepared. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and been patient. I'm removing the first chapter and putting it by itself…as it is now it doesn't really flow or I may put it at the end as a bonus chapter. Mmk love you all!

_--I love you in the same way_

_There's a chapel in a hospital_

_One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door_

_Sometimes we take chances—Fall Out Boy_

Sometimes Kiba just wants Shino to kiss him. Wants him to just grab him and crush their lips together with no rhythm or perfection….just being there. _That _close, souls wafting around each other.

Kiba has days when he feels something _so _moving for Shino its poetry inside his very body, moving like chakra through him.

Lately, well really for the past week, all Kiba wants is for Shino to say hi to him. He lies in bed a little hot, more than a little frustrated, and sees it. Himself walking through a park and Shino passing by. Maybe their shoulders would bump and Kiba would wonder if it was on purpose, would wonder if it _meant_ anything. Shino would look up, nod his head curtly and keep walking by.

Kiba knows if he told this to anyone it would sound a little foolish. But lately, maybe the past 9 days something has occurred to Kiba.

_Shino is __**avoiding **__him. _

As in taking new routes and never making eye contact and always going on solo-missions. Avoiding him as in actively going out of his way to stay far away from Kiba. It isn't as if Kiba is _paranoid_ or anything.

No, he's been watching, calculating, and he's thought of thousands of excuses for why Shino hasn't been around lately. Like major bug infestations.



That was until 6 days ago. Shikamaru had asked Kiba to join him on some scouting assignment for the anubu trainees. Shikamaru, tactful as always, had waited till they were far enough away from the hopeful newbies who were ,amusingly, bumbling through the training grounds.

He had stretched his arms and Kiba couldn't help but notice the curve of his hips. He rested his hands on said hips in a relaxed fashion, his gaze piercing.

"I wanted all of team 8 today actually but you were the only one that came…so thanks."

Kiba had shrugged, never really good at taking thank yous. "Yeah well Hinata is you know _always _doing family shit and Shino…" he had trailed off. Kinda lost in thought.

"Yes. I asked him to come. He seemed willing enough but then…" Shikamaru shrugged. "Then?" Kiba turned in question, meeting Shikamaru's intense gaze.

"He heard you were coming and suddenly couldn't make it." Shikamaru shifted, resting his weight on his left leg. "But that's just the order of events not a cause and effect."

Even while sitting on the edge of his bed, petting Akamaru, Kiba flinches. It had hurt a little, the sardonic tone Shikamaru used.

So now Kiba was stuck thinking, a position he hates more than anything. Actually the only thing he can recall hating more is getting his hair cut from his ma, which always included him running and her tackling then straddling him to the ground.

Kiba had basically figured out why Shino was avoiding him. Its more than just a coincidence or an 'order of events' that this avoidance is happening _just_ after _that_ night.

Kiba kind of blushes, remembering the feeling of Shino pressed against him. Kiba kinda frowns remembering the sound of the bathroom door shutting harshly, deafening and echoing in the room.

No, _that _part isn't the problem. Because even with knowing _why_, Kiba doesn't _really_ know why. He can never get underneath Shino's layers, his surface.

Like is Shino ashamed or angry or does he regret it or does he feel disgusted? Does Shino really want Kiba to stay away or is he waiting for Kiba to come to him. Is Shino leaving him this choice because he's confused or because he doesn't care or because he doesn't want to take the blame?

Does Kiba really have any choice at all? Is this Shino being Shino and pulling the strings…always 3 steps ahead of him.



Kiba sighs and pinches the bridge of hi nose, staving off the headache he knows is coming. Akamaru barks and Kiba turns on his front, burying his face into his yellow pillow.

He pulls back and blanches. That _definitely _needs a wash; contrary to popular belief Kiba is kind of clean. Maybe not sterile but clean. He sorta has to be…heightened senses and all.

He scratches behind Akamaru's ears. "This thinking shit isn't for me huh?" Akamaru snorts and for less than a millisecond Kiba feels offended. It's not like he's _dumb_ its just that he's more of a man of action.

Yeah, that's it.

"So now what? I don't want to be that stalker boyfriend but Shino's acting like _such _a little bitch." Akamaru barks and Kiba scratches a little lower. "Plus I don't really _want _to go to the Aburame's house."

Akamaru cocks his head.

"Hey fuck you ok. Don't look at me like that. That place is creepy as hell."

Akamaru stares blankly.

"I mean they probably have brain eating bugs labeled just for me."

Akamaru snorts.

"Alright, alright. But I don't know what to do…This is man." Kiba stands, the bed rises a little. He runs a hand through his hair, leaving his hand against the back of his neck. "This _is_ going to be so awkward." He sighs, throws a white shirt on and heads out.

On his way Kiba makes sure to use the fastest route: by rooftop. He doesn't really want to run into anyone but really, if he's being truthful, the longer he takes is simply the more time he has to back out.

So for the sake of his pride and patience he takes the rooftops and tries to focus on anything but Shino. Like Naruto is coming back soon and they definitely need to do something. Something that preferably doesn't include ramen or Sasuke. Hell he'd eat a house full of ramen for no Sasuke.

"Shit." Kiba trips and fumbles a little. His foot missing his mark on the Aburame rooftop. "Damn" he stops his movements and crouches, the last thing he needs is to be attacked and die on Shino's rooftop because of a stubbed toe.

"Shit,fucker. This is so dumb." Underneath the window opens "Kiba?"

Fuck.



Not the entrance he wanted to make. Gritting his teeth Kiba leaps down to the windowsill, swaying a little then perching still. "Hey" he grins and he knows its too broad, too tight, too full of tension.

"What…are you..doing?" the words are slow and piercing. Kiba scratches his head, chuckles harshly, his smile still in place. "Why are you being so…creepy." Shino raises an eyebrow and takes an almost unnoticeable step back.

Kiba's smile falls, he glowers. "I don't know Shino, you tell me."

Shino stares "What? If I knew I'd…why are you beings so strange? What are you doing here?"

Kiba shrugs, leans in " Well, I'm outside because you're too rude to invite me in."Shino sighs and pushes his glasses up. "Fine, come in."

Kiba glides in after Shino, stepping into what seems like a study. The room is dark and painted brown. Its sparse and the only thing of notice is a beautiful picture of the Aburame symbol created out of exotic bugs. Kiba stares around the room, inhales a scent of wood and a lingering scent of decay.

Its faint but Kiba smells it anyway and his heart kinda breaks. A little.

"So" its tense and Shino takes a seat on the cream couch looking up at Kiba. "So…the reason you're here?"

Now Kiba regrets not thinking this through. His mouth dries and he really wants to have some tact but before he can stop himself his mouth starts moving, his throat insist on working. "You've been fucking avoiding me. _That's_ why." Kiba takes a hostile step forward and Shino tenses.

"I haven't been."

"Fuck you! You have. Damn it be a man and admit it. I know you have." Kiba growl and he can feel his anger getting the best of him. "Kiba…" but Kiba growls and cuts him off. "So I'm, here to find out why. At least _one_ of us can answer a damn question."

Shino stands, on the offense, tense and coiling. "Don't." It's a command and Kiba fizzles…a little. "Don't come to my home and attack me." Kiba raises an eyebrow "Oh but you can come to mine and fuck me?"

Shino flinches slightly at the harsh words. "Don't be dramatic…we didn't" he makes an awkward hand motion, pushes his fingers together and rubbing them up and down "You know."

"Fuck?" Shino blushes.

"What was I not good enough for you? Huh? You ashamed to be with the town slut?"

"**Stop**!" Shino bellows and this time Kiba takes a step back and hits the desk. "Shit."

Shino sighs. "Stop. That's not it. Its not." He sounds convincing and Kiba feels his anger melt away. His shoulders sag. "So what is it?" and Kiba's voice is a whisper because he sint really sure if he's ready for the answer. For the incoming rejection…the 'I'm just not that into you' or the ' Its not you its me' or the ' We're better off as friends" depending on the mood Shino is in.

"Kiba you of anyone should _know_ this is not my comfort zone. I just need some space." He sighs and looks at Kiba's solemn face.

The room fills with silence until a knock hits the door. "Yes?" Shino answers. A maid sticks her head in "Dinner will be in 15 minutes master." Shino nods and flicks his hand, sending her away.

Kiba stares at the floor and marvels at the lack of bugs present.

"Look Kiba I don't want you think…whatever it is you've been thinking. I'm sorry I didn't realize how my actions would seem."

Kiba shrugs and frowns "It was a bitch move."

Shino scoffs and holds back a laugh. "Yes you can say that. Kiba I need you to understand that even with everything that has occurred I…honestly…really…"

Kiba shuts his eyes and tries to focus on everything else but Shino. This is it, the moment he's been dreading. Its dumb that his heart is pounding and he feels like vomiting. It's dumb because this is how it happens…no one ever wants the stray. They just give it scraps.

"…So there now you know." Shino chuckles nervously "It's just overwhelming."

And Kiba blinks, feels his heart drop. There is this nagging feeling that he's missed something important. "Wait, come again?" Shino's brows net in annoyance. "Kiba don't. You heard me. You _know_. This is hard enough for me without your teasing."

Kiba blinks again…now he _knows _he's missed something really important. "No wait I…what?"

"Master Shino?"

The sound rings from downstairs. "Kiba…would you like to stay for dinner?"Kiba shakes his head in the negative. "No I'm…I'm just gonna get going."

Sino nods and steps forward. "Okay, I'll see you soon." Kiba laugh a little too forcefully. "Ok yeah. That sounds like a good change."

They lean in to hug each other and after a moment pull back. Kiba kinda lingers and their eyes lock before they both begin to lean in. Unfortunately not in the same direction and their noses bump roughly.

Kiba pulls back and rubs his nose. Talk about a clumsy day. Shino blushes slightly and quickly kisses Kiba's forehead.

Its sweet and it melts Kiba heart…a lot.

"Master??"

Shino smiles softly. "Ok so tomorrow? Training grounds?" Kiba nods "Sure, yeah tomorrow. Maybe the fishing pond instead." He makes his way back to the window as Shino begins his trek downstairs, both taking glances back at each other. Kiba waves and leaves.

When Kiba reaches home he sags in a motionless heap on the bed. His eyes burn like lava and its so stupid. Today was great. He and Shino worked things out like a couple is supposed to. They even shared a really sweet moment and hell…Shino even invited him to _eat_ with his family.

But yet…Shino had said something back there. Something real and honest that Kiba's insecurities had made him too afraid to hear.

Shino had said something. _Something_ that deep down Kiba knows it was _'I love you'_ or something close to it. His first I love you and Kiba—had missed it.

_--There's nothing you can do_

_Cause Love's such a joke_

_Like a little Jack-in-the box, you know—Emily Bindiger_


	26. Public

A/N: So this has taken so long due to lazyiness. It was written and I didn't get to typing it. In my defense I have had a crap load of hw to do. Read…Review…be merry. That sort of thing )

_--There's gonna be a party tonight_

_And do you think that you're invited_

_I know that you're excited_

_There's gonna be a party tonight_

_Wouldn't you think you'd know_

_If I were excited—The White Tie Affiar_

Shino pinches the bridge of his nose, irritated. He's _still_ not sure how or why he's allowed himself to be dragged into this and thinks Kiba must have used a genjutsu. Or something.

Really it's the only explanation. Or perhaps, maybe, if he had been threatened to do D-ranked missions again—but at this point helping fat, unclothed civilians out of sink holes almost seems more appealing.

Kiba grins beside him and Shino steels his face in order to prevent a childish pout. It's not very becoming of an Aburame. "Aw, come on. Hinata will be there, Neji too…I think." Shino turns his face forward, ignores the very annoying nudging at his shoulders.

Thought he has to admit, lately, he hasn't seen Hinata as much as he should have…and seeing Neji was generally a…_ok _experience. But still. Shino feels like all the forces in the universe are working against him.

Exactly why did Naruto need a welcome back party? And who decided Shino needed to be invited? Shino is very aware it more than likely occurred by association, probably Sakura who didn't want to _hurt_ Shino's feelings.

Next time he'll have to make it a point to let her know her thoughtfulness…while nice…is unneeded.

Just because Kiba and Shino were friends (well more than that really) didn't mean they liked the same people…at all. Heck Shino wasn't fond of people as a whole to start with. And its not as if it's a secret that Naruto and Shino's "friendship" is strained at best.

So sure they could tolerate short lunches, nod in acknowledgement when they saw each other, but a whole four hours…not counting the high probability of Kiba wanting to stay longer….well that was most definitely pushing it.

Shoving it, hurling it off a cliff.

Kiba grinned beside him, looking handsome in a red v-neck and black slim pants. Shino felt some of his resentment simmer.

Usually, for example, if this had been Hinata's party, Shino could just avoid Naruto. But seeing as its _Naruto's _party—that wouldn't bode well and Shino's upbringing would not allow him such acts of rudeness…no matter how uncomfortable he was going to feel.

When Shino examines his options he's kind of…well in the words of Kiba—_screwed._ Because _even_ if Shino _happened_ to keep his distance from Naruto the night still _would not be fun_. Maybe whoever planned this forgot they aren't genin anymore. Things won't just move along peacefully and jolly.

Shino can only imagine the chaos that will erupt once Sasuke shows up. For one Naruto and Sasuke's relationship has always been complicated. Even more so than his and Kiba's. It didn't help that _something _(though what Shino is not sure) is going on between Sasuke and Neji. And now that Tenten and Neji had broken up things were strained between her and Hinata.

Mentally Shino ticks off every single source of tension and knows…someone did not think this through properly.

Taking a look a Kiba's grinning face, Shino sighs again. He forgot about the issue of Naruto…and Kiba—together. Shino mentally shuddered. And then—there was Lee.

Shino pinches the bridge of his nose again, exhaling lowly. "Hey, we're here." He can't help the disappointed slump of his shoulders. Kiba kisses his cheek and squeezes his shoulder blade reassuringly. This time Shino outright glares and braces himself for four hours of guaranteed hell.

As Naruto's shining face opens the door. Shino is sure Kiba used a genjutsu or something…like poison. And if so he hopes it will kill him…_now_.

"**Hey** Guys" Shino winces and wonders if perhaps Naruto was born with a microphone inside of him rather than a demon. "**Naruto!**" Kiba lunges towards Naruto, grabbing him in a strong hug. For a month they remind Shino of brothers and Shino can't really figure out _what_ it is that makes them different.

But whatever it is…it enough to make Shino kind of despise Naruto. Finally Kiba releases him and Naruto does his well known half chuckle, smiles and nods in Shino's direction.

He waves them in and, with the cover of his shades, Shino rolls his eyes. When Shino walks into the modestly decorated apartment he searches for Hinata as Kiba's hoops and hollers permeate the room.

Deep down it frustrates Shino a little how quickly Kiba has created this space between them, how quickly he's off joking and playing with Naruto's like some _kid_.

Shino tries to shove these feelings down, swallow them as they come back up like acid reflux with twice the burn.

He decides to scan the room for Hinata and sees her in an intense conversation with Tenten. This isn't the right time to talk to her so he settles on making his way to Shikamaru and Neji's table, nodding at Sakura and Ino as he passes. "But I think they are now…right?"

He catches the last part of their conversation, notices how they stop as he walks by, and is perplexed but keeps walking. "Yeah that's what I heard but…it doesn't seem like it."

Shino really doesn't have time to worry about what two gossiping girls are saying anyways and keeps moving. Shino nods toward Shikamaru ,who with a bored but friendly expression, waves his hand in offering. "Thanks." Both he and Neji nod.

"We were just wondering when you'd show up."Shino shrugs easily "I was in no rush." That makes Shikamaru smirk and Neji nod in understanding. "Yes me neither. I've never been a fan of these gatherings outside of holidays but…Hinata wanted to come and its _Naruto_ so…" Shino rolls his eyes.

If he didn't know better he'd swear half the population was in _love _with that kid. It was…off putting to say the least.

"So" Shikamaru's voice breaks his thoughts "you come with Kiba?" Its just a question but it feels…accusing? No but …searching? Maybe or just…perceptive? Well not innocent. Shino nods "Yes, he's here…somewhere." Neji nods, pushing a silky strand out of his face "I heard him somewhere. Probably causing havoc with Naruto and Lee."

Shino sighs…that was true. "Where's Chougi?" Shikamaru sits up and stares at him, face held up by the palm of his hand "Away he couldn't make it."

Shino feels a pang of jealousy, but doesn't say anything. He should have, if he had been thinking, just taken a mission.

Shino senses the chakra in the area shift and then shift again when he looks up Sasuke ahs hand on Neji's shoulder and Kiba has Shikamaru in a hug that looks more like a head lock.

Sasuke nods at everyone, lingers on Kiba. "Where's the dobe?" Kiba looks around, shrugs "dunno anymore" and grins, silly and maybe tipsy. Sasuke nods, never removing his hand from Neji's shoulder and Kiba is speaking lowly to Shikamaru, glancing at Shino who has steeled his face.

Well, they had at least lasted an hour without any confrontations. But now the stillness and tension in the room was rapidly increasing…or maybe it was just their corner.

"I wasn't sure you were coming." Neji tries to sound collected but his pupil- less eyes keep shifting to Sasuke's hand and everyone can feel his chakra sparking then being shut down again. Sasuke smirks. "Well its Naruto." And Shino can't understand why that seems to be the appropriate response.

Kiba laughs harshly, trying to break the tension, arm still draped around Shikamaru. "So long time no see huh." Everyone nods and Kiba stares at Shino his expression unreadable. Shino can't really figure out what's going on but it hits him for this weird split second that there's a really good chance Kiba has slept with everyone at this area—except for him.

Its really kind of pathetic.

And probably unreasonable but Shino can't help but watch as Kiba rubs at Shikamaru's shoulders still staring at him in that watchful way. Like a dog taking in a new surrounding. Shino feels like crawling out of his skin and see Hinata, like a beacon of hope, coming over.

She stops just inches away, eyes nervously flitting from each of their faces. "Hinata, yes?" Its Sasuke that speaks and Shino is sure she shudders. "O-Oh. U-Um. Sa-kura is, she's r-ready to do the c-cheers n-now."

Everyone nods and Kiba turns to her, pulls her in his arms and hugs her closely. She melts. Hinata is like that, craving affection but too afraid to ask. Shino stands first, more than ready to leave the area. He hugs Hinata loosely, whispering a hello. They walk together and Shino feels instantly calmer.

"How have you been?" Her stutter is gone now, she still speaks softly but more confidently. "Good I suppose. Better." She nods "and Kiba?" Shino searches the room, sees him grabbing the alcohol, "having the time of his life." He can't keep the bitterness out of his voice or the irradiation as Sakura begins some long winded speech and Naruto grins, rosy faced, arms around a giddy Kiba and solemn Sasuke.

He lets Kiba go, wrapping both hands around Sasuke and speaking to him with a broad grin. Sasuke places his hand on the small of Naruto's back and for the first time in a while Shino sees Sasuke be gentle…loose his bravado…his cocky smirk.

Everyone is clamoring for drinks, shouting things to Naruto who only seems to eat up the attention. "I'm going to speak to him. Will you come?" Hinata leans close so that Shino can hear her. He shakes his head no. "Its ok, go ahead."

Shino moves through the crowd, nods at Shikamaru as he passes and makes his way outside for fresh air. He sighs in relief as the cool air hits his face, the smell of grass in his nose.

Shino closes his eyes, trying to soothe his over stimulated nerves. "Hey" Shino keeps his eyes closed as Kiba walks forward. "**Hey**" Shino still doesn't move. "Shino" and Kiba moves to shove him.

Shino grabs his hand before it touches him. "Stop…being a brat."

Kiba pulls his hand back but Shino doesn't let go. "What's _wrong _with you? You're acting like you don't want to be seen with me." Shino sighs. Sometimes he forgets that for all of Kiba's bravado and oozing sexuality he really is insecure. Its understandable because Shino is too sometimes. He loosens his grip."No I just don't want to be here…"

"With me?"

Shino opens his eyes " No…at all." Kiba tugs again breaking loose. "Yeah…" he sounds disbelieving. "You know its _ok _if you know want to you know…be in public. I'm used to it and I'm sure its awkward for you…Mr. nobility being seen with me…"

And Shino cant believe they are back to this. He's sure he's tries to explain he doesn't care who Kiba's slept with.

Well maybe he does but not enough for it to effect anything and certainly not in the way Kiba thinks. He doesn't really know what Kiba is thinking or what to do to make Kiba understand that everything isn't some direct offense towards him.

So Shino kisses him, just grabs him and slams their lips together gently…attempting to reach him in a language Shino hopes he'll understand.

Kiba pulls back, smiles a little and rises on his tip toes to kiss Shino again softer. "Oh ok so then this…" and Kiba links their fingers together as everyone begins to file out.

In the background Shino can hear Naruto laughing, probably at Sasuke's expense.

"It doesn't bother you at all?" Shino feels his heart hammer, and wonders if Kiba has trained his nose enough to know the smell of nervousness, apprehension, uncertainty, lies. That's a scary thought in itself.

Kiba is staring , waiting and Shino can feel the weight of what he knows must me Shikamaru staring at him. He can't turn back now.

"No." He kisses Kiba again. Kisses him and hopes his kisses are more convincing than his sweaty palms.

_-- If the people stare_

_Then the people stare_

_Oh I really don't know_

_And I really don't care_

_Kiss my shade…oh—The Smiths_


End file.
